Hi Everyone,
We have people in many different situations on this list. Some are divorced from a narcissist, some have narcissistic partners and want to stay together, some have narcissistic kids or parents, and some are putting their toes in the water to test leaving their narcissist.
This email is for the last group:
those who are not yet divorced but have thought about it or maybe have gone to see a lawyer to gather information. I always have clients asking me what it is like to divorce a narcissist. Short answer: not pretty. They want more than that.
I wrote a book about what it is like to divorce a narcissist. I wrote it at the end of the trial and just as that happened, my husband appealed the decision. It was a divorce that should have been over and done in 6 months. But enter one opposing counsel (my husband's attorney) who is arrogant and greedy and likes to win and pair him with a narcissist as a client and there is trouble.
I just edited the book for converting it to digital reader formats. It will be available on Kindle and Sony and mobipocket readers and some others as well. Starting in July the new edition will also be available as a pdf. I am therefore offering the current version, which has the same information as the new one, at a very reduced price. You can get it until July 1 for $14.95 after which it goes back up with the edited version.
The current version is longer. It has something that will not be available ever again! It's a sneaky secret...here it is:
I wanted my judge to know some things I wasn't able to get into evidence at trial. I thought if I put them in the book AND interviewed friends of the judge, she would read it and find out what she didn't learn at trial! I thought I had to go back to court and I would tell her about the ebook. As it turned out, because my husband appealed, we never returned to court.
So, the edited version no longer has those things I wanted the judge to know in it.
This is the book I wish I had read before I began dealing with the court system. It shows the dirty tricks played on me and others by lawyers and it shows how a narcissist can use the legal system to batter you. It goes behind the scenes of a divorce with a dirty lawyer controlling your life with his tricks. It is a play by play description of my divorce with interviews of others included. It has suggestions of how to avoid what I went through. It is an analysis of the psychology of those who want to harm. It is the philosophy of how to deal with trauma. I am very clear in the book about how much pain I went through and why nothing I did could change their behaviors.
I wanted nothing more than an explanation of what was going on at that time. This book is my answer to "Why?" Why do they do it, why do they hurt us, why does the legal system make everything so much harder? Why does his attorney matter so much? (and mine).
If you want to know what legal hell is, read this book if you are thinking of a divorce. It might change how you do things.
This is an excerpt.
PROLOGUEWhether talking to others or experiencing it myself, I found that understanding the process of divorce is akin to experiencing an enormous elephant in our midst that no one adequately describes. Adjectives don't capture it, lawyers provide it with a mystique it does not have, people who survive it want nothing to do with it any more.
Books tell how to divide community property, The Tao of Divorce tells how to warriorize it, and Nolo Press advises the poor or the determined how to do it themselves. Divorce War! tells women how to get the most from a divorce, Divorce for Men tells them how to save money, Winning The Divorce War tells both sides how to destroy each other. If an attorney thinks they aren't transparent in advising tactics and strategies designed to wear down the other side, they would be well served to see what their colleagues have written.
It is my intent to provide a guide to divorce that captures some of all of the above in an effort to avoid the worst. This is not a do-it-yourself book. It is a guide to who and what really controls the divorce process and what you can do to stop them from taking away your right to divorce with dignity. It is also my story because divorce is based on stories and I learned my lessons from my own divorce in Silicon Valley. I use the lawyers and the lessons as a foundation for this book. I filed for divorce in 1998 and the trial was December, 2002. My spouse hired an attorney in 2001 after sharing an attorney with me in 1998.
When I filed I had no idea my spouse was hiding income and had been for years. We began negotiating (he said, "I have papers I want kept out of court"), but this ended when his attorney called me and said. "I don't like the way you are telling me to run this case" although it was my husband who wanted to keep him in the background.
I was served with Form Interrogatories as my spouse ceded power to his attorney. It's been a long, difficult divorce, it will not sit still. It vibrates and pulsates, fed by anger, ego, and revenge. As I was finishing this book I received notice my former spouse is appealing the judgment. Reinventing itself over and over through endless litigation, it emerges, talons grasping, to clutch me once again. But we fashion our consequences through our reactions, and I look at this new development and shrug.
DIVORCE: The Real Truth, The Hidden DangerThat's the book title and you can get it now - until July 1 - for the reduced price. It is an ebook in pdf and opens on any computer with adobe. When you get it, you get a bonus book also - sent within 48 hours of the purchase. It's called Disorder in the Courts and is about custody only and is not written by me. (If you purchased the book in the past year at the regular price, send me the receipt and I will send you a free copy of A Little Guide for Big Girls.)
Click Here to Buy
DIVORCE: The Real Truth, The Hidden Danger As always, always the best,
Ann Bradley
www.narcissisticabuse.comwww.powerguideforwomen.com
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