Model Found in Dumpster

[Wren]

Here's what can happen when you meet the man of your dreams and marry him within a few days.  Jasmine Fiore's fingers were cut off and her teeth pulled out.  Her body was identified by breast implants.  Pretty sick.  But no, we love drama and he (Ryan Alexander Jenkins) was on VH1's, "Megan Wants a Millionaire."  Well that was after he was dumped by Megan.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/6070404/Mutilated-Playboy-model-Jasmine-Fiore-identified-by-her-breast-implants.html

Something is so wrong with our society.

[Julia]

Wren,

OMG!! How totally typical and horrific and sad !!!.

As a mother of three girls I am worried about the turn society has taken. Yes it was always about keeping up with the Jones,..... but now it is about manipulating the whole neighborhood by telling backstabbing lies and  getting everyone to vote the Jones out of the neighborhood and not invite them to the blockparty......

I despise most reality TV, always did. Look at the current trend to re-fictionalize reality TV so that they can include torture and murder......It seems that emotional backstabbing just isn't juicy enough anymore for most viewers....they want blood. Next we will look the other way when the Bachelorettes try to poison each other or push each other off of the beautiful cliffs surrounding the manse they are staying in for the show!!!!

  When my little girls want to flock like moths to the latest tween stars, I let them, but I also tell them about the last generation of celebrity stars, ie Brittany Spears....... I tell them that celebrity often goes hand in hand with drug and alcohol addiction, unhappy relationships, vapidity, depression and suicide, divorce, poor parenting.....etc. I tell them that there are better ways to be a happy and fulfilled person, better ways to feel loved and valued, and we discuss that. We look at Selena Gomez and they can see that she looks like a complete fake (even her happiness looks fake). But they still like the show... likewise my oldest is a complete Twilight fan.... but she can see that Robert Pattinson is a total player and a jerk.

ANyway... enough of that rant. Thanks for posting this Wren, I hope at some point people "get it". Not holding my breath though.

Julia

[Phoenixxx]

and now he's been found in BC hanged in his hotel room.

I have a real dry snake writhing around in my stomach about that (feeling, not a real one).

[CZBZ]

My vent session is about the confusion people have over what LOVE is and what LOVE means. it seems to me that more and more, people define love as a 'feeling' which gets 'em in all kinds of trouble if a psychopath/pathological triggers luscious feelings unconditional love and perfect harmony---mirroring everything we want to see in a partner but none of his behavior has anything to do with who he is or what he believes. He's just doing what pathologicals do: garnering supply from random objects in his-or-her environment to be used at their discretion. And we, the vulnerable and ignorant public, are like fluffy sheep---oblivious to the wolf's intentions.

We feel GREAT, we feel LOVE, we feel seen and heard and cherished and so we LEAP into commitment with someone who is mimicking behavior and making us feel how THEY want us to feel. This story is very upsetting because no matter how much information boards like WoN puts out there for people to educate themselves, they are the ONLY ones who can educate themselves. And as Julia posted, we are up against a brick wall considering a narcissistic culture that prioritizes feelings and notions of idealized love.

I cringe whenever anyone says or writes about believing in Love At First Sight. I just CRINGE...and I don't care if its a scientist tellin' me that or a spiritual guru. Love is not a 'feeling'.

We are so confused about love and with celebrity narcissists teaching our kids about love and self, we're in for a whole heap o' trouble before we find out way back to a life embued with values and meaning and principles.

I've been thinking about Arranged marriages lately.

LOL

Hugs,
CZ

[Phoenixxx]

We disagree then.  I think LOVE is a feeling TOO.  I know what I feel when my son falls asleep in my arms.  I know what I felt when I looked into my exN/S eyes when we were intimate.  Its a want "to have", as well as a want "to give".  Its warmth, attraction, care, attachment, fondness, euphoria, worry and we could probably keep a running list of emotional cocktails.

I STILL love my exN/S.  Not all the time.  Not often.  And not lasting very long.  But I've felt love for people my whole life, I know what love feels like.

I also know what it feels like and looks like when it is a verb.

The trouble with N/S's is because they mimmick it in their behaviour, we're tricked into believing what we see, until slowly it stops looking like it while it continues sounding like it.  Because as the mask starts slipping they do the action of loving less while doing the action of abusing more, while they continue saying all the things we equate with love.

It takes so bloody long to begin to realize something is terribly wrong, terribly abnormal, and that something may or may not be us, maybe its THEM.

Forums and educational sites and books like this are useful but only AFTER the lightbulb of reality goes off.

Who will read this forum when theyre still in the fairytale of the perfect words and actions a N/S presents?  while we are still drunk in the feelings of love?

[Cornfield]

We have had members on this board who are still very much in love when they come to this board.  They are looking for the answers to "why?" and I believe that it takes a very long time to "unlove" your problem person.  I also believe that it takes as long with a friend who is not a lover, when the relationship goes sour.  These are not easy things to get over, and some may never achieve the healthy healing a person might seek.

We learn, we work at it, and we gain understanding.   That is a healing journey.

Cornfield

[CZBZ]

Scott Peck had strong opinions about the difference between real love and what he called 'cathexis.' I can't do justice to his teachings in a message, though. When I started learning about what love MEANT to me and how that differed from what it meant to my former husband, then I could understand how he could 'feel' love for his new soulmate and not be able to distinguish the difference between a long-term partnership that was no longer romantic, and feelings of euphoria as a result of his attraction to a new person in his life.

I have felt those tingling attractions towards other people at different moments in my life. maybe other people have, too. I mean, there are those times when you meet someone who triggers a Chemical Tornado in your body and gee, you can't help but like how that feels. Then the moral battle begins with deep and thoughtful rumination about what love means to you as a person---and how you would want to be treated yourself. Surely, I'm not that uncommon...surely other people have had experienced sexual interest in another person even though they were committed to a partner?? If we don't act on those 'love impulses' though, then we have a chance to become self-aware by asking ourselves what love really means.

It's also important to distinguish between Love and Sex. for me, Love and Sex go together like peanut butter and chocolate and monogamy is the icing.  Love to me, is about living UP TO our commitments which eventually requires thinking outside ourselves and demanding our ego needs be met OR ELSE the relationship has to end. I have a higher definition of love as an action than I do love as a physiological response or feeling. Like I warned at the beginning of my message though, Scott Peck does a better job explaining the distinction.

That does not mean I don't have loverly, yummy and gushy feelings about people I love...I am a touchy-feely gal if ever there were one. But I had to get very clear with what love meant to me because when love is reduced to a 'feeling', it's of no benefit to anyone but the 'feeler'. When love is a 'feeling', imo, it's no more trustworthy than any other feeling. It comes and it goes and it all depends on mood.

Hugs,
CZ

[Phoenixxx]

I'd appreciate hearing more about that, but maybe we could start or move all this stuff to a new thread thats not about a model found in a dumpster?

[CZBZ]

Good idea...

You wanna start a post about what love is? I can move messages to the thread once the topic is posted. You can edit your responses afterwards. Do you think that would work?


CZ

[CZBZ]

"Here's what can happen when you meet the man of your dreams and marry him within a few days."

It's useful to talk about romantic love on a thread like this since people are ignorant about the 'chemistry of love' unless they've been forced to read Helen Fisher's book on a healing forum. ha! Why I went off on a tangent above is because of our media-inspired foolishness. I still hear people say they fell in love at first sight which may or may not be a dangerous thing. In the case of this news story, the outcome was horrific. A tragedy. On this board however, it's valuable to talk about the notions-of-love we have as a society that might lead us into doing stupid things without questioning our 'thinking'.

My hope is that people will become more familiar with their body's reactions and stop attributing 'meaning' to ephemeral emotions. We need to increase our level of emotional intelligence. But what would lead someone to a forum like this had they not experienced tragedy of some kind?? I've learned so much---especially becoming comfortable in my own skin and allowing my feelings to be conscious without acting on them.

I even wonder sometimes just how the heck I made it to my fifties without being emotionally-aware to the degree I am now. Perhaps it's MY romantic notions that fire up my keyboard because I know how innocent, naive and ignorant i was. When I went to college, I was a sweet fresh peach, just ready for the pickin'.

It's a horrifying realization in it's own way.


Hugs,
CZBZ

[Phoenixxx]

My hope is that people will become more familiar with their body's reactions and stop attributing 'meaning' to ephemeral emotions.

Ok now I'm getting scared....its the emotions, ephemeral or otherwise, that feed my creativity---its my "pulse" with life.

But my love for my exN/S that still beats irregularly...wasnt, and hasnt been ephemeral.

That his was shallow and ephemeral doesnt negate what mine was, either in feeling (noun), or action (verb).

[CZBZ]

You are a complex woman, Phoenixxx.  You force me to be very clear with my writing, which is a challenge for me because even if it seems like writing is my favorite thing in the world to do, it isn't. I struggle saying what I mean and feel...and frequently fall short of articulate expression. I'm much better expressing myself with a bag of clay and a potter's wheel. 

Do you still love your exN/Sociopath?? Or is it that you have feelings of attachment or yearning for him that you define as 'love'?? Is it the loss of the dream that you loved or do you really and honestly 'love' someone who hurt you as deeply as he did?

Hugs,
CZ

[Phoenixxx]

I love him.  I fell in love with the best he had to give. 

I struggle with this concept of him. In the therapist training programme we went through, the goal was to be able to be free enough, and courageous enough to choose ANYTHING in any given moment, to not be stuck by the scripts we felt we were locked into.  We used to have this meaningful game we'd play one night a year at a retreat where we'd dress in costume and "BE" the role our peers assigned us as our disowned selves.  And then we would go out into the public for an evening, being that person, and come back at midnight and tell stories about what the experience was like.

So the disowned self is the self we do everything in our power not to be, that we run from, we squash, or we murder.  the task was not to act...but to be.  It was in those nights I came to realize if we can BE that person for a night, it already dwells within us.  Like a good actor pulls it up from within them, somewhere deep, is different than faking it.

So I think much of the time I believe my exNARCISSIST WAS the loving person he was in the beginning, but in the end its a disowned part he pulled up from the deep when he wanted me enough.  But the BULK of who he is, the one he is most comfortable being, the one whose needs, urges, whims, defenses, rule him because it requires little energy, it comes natural to him, it demands of him -- is the sadistic user with a bottomless pit of hunger - for attention, company, admiration, thrill, power, status.  Thats the 95% guy...and I dont like him.

But the 5% guy I do, and thats the one I feel empathy and compassion for.  Thats the guy who I feel sad will have a difficult life filled with endless melodrama and broken relationships, and never being satisfied with life. 

But I'm under no illusion that the 5% is worth a lifetime of broken dreams and bruised hope for me.  My hope that he'd come back for me and push the sadist aside -- that hope died long long ago.  Its why I got out.  Its why I'm here.

I've written before about how I saw glimmers of that guy all through the relationship.  But they'd last mere minutes, you know I'm not exaggerating, 2 1/2 minutes of him, and the OTHER guy would come back.

I dont believe that a vacuous man, empty of all goodness and affection would have stayed with me for 7 years, and they were hard years (cuz I never went quietly!!! ) if he didnt feel SOMETHING good and beautiful deep inside him.  I wouldnt have stayed if I hadnt felt something beautiful and good for him too.  He just cant tolerate all of the demands intimacy involves, for longer than those 2 minutes.  My first therapist, the director of the Institute who also counselled my exN/S said to me, he will likely never be with anyone again for as long as he was with me.  And he sent me an email after we broke up but before No Contact saying he was certain he'd never fall that deeply in love again.  And yanno, I think they might be right -- even if 'deeply in love" for him isnt all that deep.

what does namaste mean?  the beauty in me recognizes the beauty in you?

thats what I mean by love for him.

sad.........sad that it only ever glimmers.....sad that he's condemned to his addiction and avoidance of pain and his 95%.

[Phoenixxx]

and sad that I feel as deeply and loved as wide open as I did with someone who had so little to return.

[CZBZ]

An excerpt from "In Cold Blog":

"...The son of a successful architect in Calgary, Jenkins was earning quite a good living selling real estate and building houses. He was also a pilot and had been looking at aviation as another career option. He and Fiore were married in Las Vegas in March, and allegedly annulled the union several weeks later. Fiore’s biggest mistake, it seems, was to continue to see Jenkins after the breakup and the misdemeanor battery charges that were filed in June after he was accused of hitting her in the arm.

In some photos, Jenkins was quite a good looking man, but he possessed at least one fatal character flaw – an overwhelming sense of narcissism that presumably led him to reality TV in the first place. News reports say that a judge in Calgary had ordered him to get psychological counseling and treatment for sex addiction..."

[Wren]

I saw the producer of Megan Wants a Millionaire on Larry King Live a few nights ago.  Very young looking.  It was awful to watch this woman.  She couldn't speak, everything was "like this, like that." Everything was LIKE.  She said she placed him on the show because, from what I got out of it -- he hit on her, she thought that was a sign of confidence.  It was a baby, baby thing.  Baby, you look hot, some BS.  She also never understood the stinky problem of a murder.  She was running off about herself, the show, the guy, how she picked him -- she's nuts.

What also truly disturbs me is that I have a good friend who has been out of work for several months but yet someone as this person makes some bucks.  Sometimes, I just don't get it and never will.
 

[CZBZ]

"But I'm under no illusion that the 5% is worth a lifetime of broken dreams and bruised hope for me.  My hope that he'd come back for me and push the sadist aside -- that hope died long long ago.  Its why I got out.  Its why I'm here" ~Phoenixxx

As a peer (since I'm not a psychologist and can only offer personal experience and understanding), the task of a lifetime is 'integration'. To not only claim disowned selves, but to develop the type of character we hope to create through repetitive choices. Some of those choices we might determine to be mistakes and for someone who wants to be a trustworthy person or a kind person, we accept our capacity to hurt other people (claim the disowned 'betrayer') and choose NOT to make the same mistake again. In other words, we take another step towards building 'character' without denying we have the ability to hurt people--consciously or most times, unconsciously.

The goal is Integration---for the N, for the non-N, for every human being that lives.

Some people cannot claim the disowned self...it's too painful. It's too close to the original narcissistic injury precipitating pathological narcissism (a False Self that denies being abusive, having sadistic impulses, anything that is deemed to be 'bad' by society). This means that the 5% lousy self is ruler of the 95% good self because it is NOT integrated into one human being.

To ignore the 5% is akin to saying, "I just adore sitting in a beehive with all those fuzzy little behinds buzzing around my head and oh my, aren't their wings delightful? I just love hanging out in beehives."

Now if a honeybee had a conscience, we might take it personally when they stung the livin' daylights out of us. The interesting thing about comparing honeybees to narcissists is that we run from honeybees because we know they sting people instinctively because we're threats to their survival. So if you're smart and you don't like getting stung, you stick on a beekeeper's bonnet and a suit and gloves and basically, put a boundary between yourself and their cute little stingers. It's kinda sad though because I'd like to pet a furry little honeybee flitting around my roses if they'd promise not to sting me.

 

The narcissist's 5% sting-factor ought not be ignored. It IS who they ARE. And ya know, in the narcissist's eyes, they are justified to sting folks who threaten them. And basically, everyone is  perceived to be a threat.


Hugs,
CZ

[Phoenixxx]

You see the N's sadistic side as 5% of who he is, or 5% of the time...for my exsociopath, it is the driving force in him, it is the bulk of him, its the 95%.

The 5% guy is the nice guy, the one who wanted to love me.

He's in perpetual drowning mode because the 95% guy is so predominant.

[CZBZ]

Okay, I need to let that soak in...we're probably talking about the same thing. Maybe that sadistic 5% eventually makes up 95% of their character? At first, I'd say there were only a few times when the narcissist appeared to be a sadist; but towards the end (after a lifetime of choices, perhaps), he was more pathological than normal.

If the man you loved was 95% MEAN and ROTTEN, then how about a hug?? 

For myself, it was traumatic to see someone turn into the bad guy he proclaimed he did NOT want to become. Almost overnight, the worst he had ever been is how he became. At that point, I had to walk away...had to. Just like yourself perhaps.

So do you think that the sadistic side of him grew through a lifetime of choices, too? Or do you think he was always like that but created a 'cover'? Oh, and was he CONSCIOUS of his sadistic nature? Did he find pleasure in being a Bad Person? You know, an inverted conscience? Or was he oblivious to his impact on people like I tend to believe most narcissists are?

Hugs,
CZ

[Phoenixxx]

I only knew him for 8 years total.  But I believe much of what he shared about his life, and I saw confirmation of it from his brother, parents and friends.

He was neglected and spoiled by his accomplished workaholic father, he was physically and psychologically abused by his N mother.  His mother took him from his father and went into hiding when he was 8.  Thats when she was free to systematically dismantle him in a city his father didnt know about.  At 13 he had become big enough, and I suppose damaged enough that he turned viciously on his mother.  He says that when he was around 9 he started sadistically abusing his brother.  After that he had become oppositionally defiant, was kicked out of every school, even the expensive private schools his mother insisted his father paid for.  When he left his mom at 13 to live with his workaholic (read absent) father, he got involved with drugs, criminal activity, evading police, being exploitative of his friends, getting them into trouble, stealing car radios etc.

So to answer your question, I believe he got both the gene and the trigger from his N mother with beatings, emotional incest, and all the other tricks of mental abuse we know N's are good at.  I believe his father strengthened that through neglect and spoiling him with material goods, money, entitlement and undeserved praise.  He was sadistic at a young age, he learned to be exploitative early, he loved the power he had, even over his own mother with his rage, he was still raging at her when I was with him.

I think it his predominant way of being in the world.  Because he is so exploitrative and manipulative he is THE classic example of being a chameleon, whether is is with Hells Angels, or British Parliament members, his upper caste Pakistani family, or the towtruck drivers he gets high with, it doesnt matter, he plays the role so successfully everyone loves him and believes him.  The only person I ever saw suspect him of anything was his elderly physician father who would come to visit me or call when he knew his son wasnt around and ask me repeatedly a'why does trouble always follow him?  why am I having to bail him out with money and lawyers all the time? why doesnt he seem at all grateful for everything I do for him?  why is he so demanding?  I dont think other people's children are always asking them for money are they? why does he not have a sense of reality"

But his father has no idea his son tortures animals, gets out and beats cab drivers in traffic jams because he is annoyed, buys and sells drugs, makes pornography, cheats people out of money, cheque fraud, identity theft, ruins his enemy's credit ratings, and dare I say...endangers if not takes people's lives.  (I have to be careful what I say)

So even while he is polite, cultured, sophisticated, funny, charming, stimulating conversationalist, seductive, helpful, inquisitive, attentive, generous..its all surface.  He is always observing, analyzing, evaluating, judging, scheming, using, manipulating, conning...lying.

I have said this before that he lies to every single person he knows.  Thats not an exaggerration.  I've thought about it a number of times.  There is not one person I could recall from his life that he hadnt told lies to.

There always seemed to be an undercurrent of rage, especially if he was bored or had no money to do anything.  He was like a caged animal.  he needed constant stimulation to keep the rage at bay.  And if he could hurt someone or some animal physically, sexually, financially or emotionally he was happier than a kid on Christmas morning...giddy with pleasure overload.

And in those ways I know I'm not making things up in my angry heartbreak.  I saw him be that way with many other people, not just when he was hurting me.

So most moments when he was kind or loving towards me, felt to me like he was after something, even if it was to cheer me up or have peace or keep me from leaving.  But there were a few times when his kindness seemed genuine.  I cant explain it.  It was as though a door opened briefly and he was touched by the hand of God or something.  I remember thinking once, there may be hope for his soul afterall. (and I'm not religious)

But then the door slammed shut again.

He said to me once that he didnt want people to see him as the intimidating bad guy anymore, it saddened him.  yeah I bet it does, because a 20 yr old sexy looking bad guy is acceptable right?  we think he is filling the role pop culture has provided him, he's sowing his wild oats, he's finding himself, feeling his power, liking adventure etc  But when youre 40 and youre a lawyer and want to be a politician and run with the Hells Angels knocking heads and being involved in hits etc its not so easy reconciling both into one life.

if evil exists, it got a hold of him at a very young age, and he doesnt want to let go of it long enough to actually let go...its got a death grip on his throat.

I told him the last time I saw him I thought he may have lost his soul, when he was telling me about how his mid level drug dealer pal was getting legal advice from him about how to get a rival a Colombian necktie, and not get caught.  Now for other N's thats just bragging, trying to impress or intimidate.  But sadly, thats the guy I fell in love with.  He didnt just say those things, he did them, he revered and sought out other men who engaged in those things.

I know things, witnessed things, turned a blind eye to things that I worked hard to come to terms with afterwards in therapy.  Because I bent my values, I played mind games on myself, to fill in the blank spots his mindgames left me with.  Its probably the biggest reason he has left me alone, because he knows if something happens to me I tell everything I know.  It also puts a target on my back, because I know things nobody else does.  So even though I'm out of the relationship, I still walk the no man's land of  safety and risk.

yes he was conscious of his sadistic nature.  He used to tell me it was because he was more evolutionarily evolved.  He was a better hunter than most men because he had no conscience to get in the way, and because he had a passion for hunting and killing (his euphemisms for everything illegal he would do).  If he didnt enjoy the kill so much, or the suffering right before the kill, he would have gotten turned off the hunt long ago.  But this way he is better than most men...because he has a passion for it.

No he wasnt oblivious to his impact on others at all.  he had incredibly fine tuned instincts for people.  If he still wanted a person to think well of him he expertly manipulated them around to his way of thinking again.  If he felt they were deserving of Ten Fold punishment he made sure they suffered. 

And in the end (I think I posted this before) the last time I spoke to him on the phone I said "it boggles my mind how even with the treatment you received from your mother, you never ask yourself why you have such trouble with your romantic relationships" -- he said "what makes you think I dont think about it?"

He knows, he just either doesnt care, or he enjoys it.  He bragged often about his girlfriend before me "never got over him" because years later she was still in pain.

Its one of the reasons I'm always working so damn hard to crawl my way back to normal...so I'm not still some irrigation pond he draws from so long after our breakup.

[Phoenixxx]

holy crow!

I'm SO sorry thats SO long.

[Phoenixxx]

You know, we used to live next to a really big park in the city.  It had a public pool, play ground, soccer fields, baseball diamonds.  Families with young children and dogs were in there all the time.  At night it was a safe place to be, I remember in the summer I could hear someone practicing their jazz saxophone down by the trees...it was beautiful.  Toronto has its share of homeless, as I bet most American cities do, that are outpatients from psych wards.  We had one guy whom I assume was schizophrenic who would hang out in the park, talking to Jesus (real complex conversations), panhandle, and sometimes when he was in a bad state, would preach fire and brimstone very loudly.  When he was in that state he was scary.  When he was delusional but calmer he seemed like a sweet little boy caught in a mans body.

One very hot humid day my son and I went swimming in the pool and then went into the playground for awhile.  he was lying in the shade, fully clothed with jean jacket etc, hair plastered to his face, lips parched, he looked unwell and dehydrated.  My son and I went into the store and got him a bottle of water from the cooler and gave it to him.  He sat up and looked at me with adoration and asked "Are you the Madonna?" "No, sweetheart, I'm just your neighbour."

I told my exN/S that when we got home.  He told me off.

A few nights later, he went into his fire and brimstone speech, yelling it to no one down near the basketball courts.  My exN/S started getting out of bed.  He said he was going to get his "baseball bat and put that f***ing mutant out of his misery once and for all".  I told him he WOULD NOT, come back to bed.  He thought it over on his way to and back from the bathroom and stayed.

I never heard or saw that homeless guy again after that.


Thats just one of a number of incidences that seem too coincidental, and entirely within his character, ability and motivation to carry out.


Whats hurtful to me is that I didnt recall those things until a year after I was out of the relationship and the fog had entirely lifted by then.

[Julia]

Phoenix,

Thank you for your trust in sharing these stories with us. I believe that telling them helps, usually. It helps to speak the truth and not just in a whisper! And I believe you when you say that he is 95% evil. This is truly extreme Sociopath behavior. It is very typical for that to start very young, like with his brother, animals, anyone. We all know that his chances of breakthrough or saving his soul are so small.....he doesn't even deserve our pity (although you and his other victims do). He deserves jail... he must be fairly clever to have avoided arrest all this time.

You know what you need to do fortunately, and are doing it with your no contact and coming to this site. In my experience this site helped me to move my knowledge about my NH from my head to my heart. From the purely intellectual, rational sphere into the spiritual, gut-level acceptance of grounded reality. I pray that you get this deep understanding and peace as well.


Bless you,

Julia

[Wren]

Phoenix and Julia, there's so much that reminds me of a scary movie, and it shouldn't.  A scary movie should be much better!

[CZBZ]

Dear Phoenixxx,

He most definitely sounds sociopathic/psychopathic. Especially since he is so aware of his sadistic pleasures. He's conscious and he's cruel. How on earth did you ever get away from this man? It can't have been easy, Phoenixxx. Your story is the type of story that ends with the woman remaining attached and loyal to a bad maN. (Stockholm Syndrome)

What made you leave? AND, are you safe now????


Hugs,
CZ