Triangulation at its worst

[Litha]

Ex-aide Andrew Young: John Edwards likely funding baby mama Rielle Hunter's lawsuit against me

He's just not that into you.

That's what a former John Edwards aide is telling Rielle Hunter after she proclaimed the disgraced politician was still in love with her in a racy, tell-all interview.

"I think John Edwards is telling Rielle Hunter and [his wife] Elizabeth whatever he needs to tell them to make them do whatever he wants them to do," ex-aide Andrew Young told CBS' "The Early Show" on Tuesday.

Hunter, 45, opened up about her affair with the former Democratic vice presidential candidate, telling GQ magazine, "I know he loves me. I have never had any doubt about that."

"I believe that will be 'til death do us part," she said.

Edwards finally came clean that he fathered a baby daughter with Hunter when she was working as a campaign videographer. He recently separated from his cancer-stricken wife, Elizabeth Edwards, after nearly 33 years of marriage.

Young also claimed that Edwards was paying for Hunter's lawsuit against him over allegations that he has a steamy sex tape of the the couple.

"I don't know how she's paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for lawyers to put me through my paces for three weeks," he said. "I can't think of anyone who would do it other than him."

Young originally posed as the child's father and recently released a book about the affair.

Read more:
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/03/16/2010-03-16_exaide_andrew_young_john_edwards_likely_funding_baby_mama_rielle_hunters_lawsuit.html#ixzz0iQsd5lKv

[RB22]

Strangely quiet in all the media hoopla is John Edwards.   

I feel very sorry for that Little girl.  This being played out in the media is just so sad.... Mom got involved with a married man, admitted to sleeping with him on the first date...Then does a photo shoot wearing pearls, a man's tailored shirt with no pants on the D's bed with her stuffed friends.    Dad denied her existence until recently. 

The only one involved in this situation with any sense is Elizabeth Edwards... she is allowing her children to visit with their other sibling.  Definately a class act.  Probably the only adult in the situation with it.

[Litha]

Yes RB, it reminds me of those Highlight magazine puzzles: How many Narcissists can you find in this picture? Elizabeth and the baby are the only two normals.

John started out as Perpetrator by cheating on his wife (the Victim) while she battled cancer.

Rielle no doubt saw herself as the Rescuer, giving John the comfort he needed when his wife could not.

When Rielle became pregnant, however, she began to see herself as a Victim of the triangle. She quickly used that to justify becoming the Perpetrator, threatening to make the affair public and ruin John's career.

Now John plays the Victim, and he expects Elizabeth to become the rescuer and "stand by her man."  But apparently Elizabeth has had enough of life in the Triangle, and she steps off of her corner.

Desperate, John turns to his aide Andrew, who steps into the Triangle as Rescuer. Andrew claims that he is Rielle's lover and the father of her baby.

Andrew quickly becomes the Perpetrator, however, when he tells Rielle that he has a copy of a sex tape she made with John.

Rielle is feeling like the Victim again, a role she despises. She wants to retalilate against Andrew, but can't afford it.

John now steps in as her Rescuer, bankrolling a lawsuit against Andrew over the sex tape.

Andrew is now the Victim, but becomes the Perpetrator by writing a tell-all book.

And the cycle continues spinning.

[CZBZ]

Fantastic example, Litha! That was excellent, thank you! I hope more people read what you've written because it's a great interpretation of the Drama Triangle. (which we all do, so we'd best figure out how it works!)

There is one innocent victim in the Infidelity triangle and that's the 'betrayed'. We might react to the ambush by 'rescuing' our partner who sees him or herself as a 'victim' but eventually, we find our way out of the drama. Interesting how the two people who need to take responsibility for themselves, remain stuck inside the triangle either blaming the 'innocent' or each other!

You don't wanna get involved with a married person because eventually, YOU will be blamed, too. If a married spouse uses his or her partner as an excuse to have an affair, they'll eventually blame their affair partner in the same way. They are not taking responsibility for themselves in the marriage, and will likely throw the Blame Ball to another corner of the triangle: that would be the affair partner. No wonder so few 'affairs' result in long-lasting relationships.

When you look back on the chaos and drama and confusion, you have to give yourself a Pat on the Back for trying to cope with the mess and doing the best you could no matter how odd your reactions may have been at the time. Then, you need to applaud yourself for Getting Out of the triangle. There is no 'peace of mind' in drama triangles. Illusions that your X-partner and his/her new soulmate are blissfully happy, is an 'illusion' (an expression of your 'loss'); unless of course, they Get Off On the drama. Reality is: They are still throwing and catching the Big Ball of Blame. If that equates to finding your soulmate............................


Hugs,
CZ

[Litha]

Thanks CZ, glad you liked it. We've been discussing the Triangle on the General Board for awhile, so it jumped right out at me when I read the article. Never heard of it before WoN, I'm learning so much here 

I agree with what you are saying about affairs, you can't step into an affair without stepping into the Triangle.

The Drama Triangle reminds me of the Bermuda Triangle. How many souls have disappeared without a trace?

[Liberty]

they'll eventually blame their affair partner in the same way.

I think my ex-husband's rapacious vine (still currently clinging to him like strangulating ivy on a street lamp) will be treated even worse than me because I think he will also blame her for "losing him" his (our) two children too...
 

[CZBZ]

Bermuda Triangle??? LOLLOL!!! Litha! You go inside one of those relationships and lose yourself completely.


Hey, Liberty, my thinking is right in sync with yours. Even as angry as i've been towards the 'rapacious vine', I still feel a little tenderness for the woman. My X could be very, very convincing. I'm also sure beyond the shadow of a doubt, that her life is far worse than mine ever was. I got to play 'The Madonna' which is a whole lot better treatment than playing the other part in the N's One-act Play.

I wish I could warn women to stop thinking infidelity is a victimless crime. While the betrayed wife is victimized, she eventually leaves the triangle and the 'rescuing' OW gets moved into our place. And I think you're right, liberty---she is blamed for ALL his losses (of which there are MANY).


Hugs,
CZ