viewing profiles? Sending private messages?

[Litha]

Hi,
I can't see anyone else's profile. I assume that's a protective precaution you place on all new people. Will that go away eventually?

[CZBZ]

Dear Litha,


I have intentionally set the software to protect people's profiles from being viewed by anyone--especially spammers. I believe you can see your own profile and email address but no one else can. Now that the Internet has turned into a scammer's superstore, it was necessary to keep emails as private as possible.

There are kajillions of message boards on the web. The chances of a narcissist finding the person telling his or her story are pretty slim. But it does happen occasionally. Usually it's because the narcissist tracked a forum member's computer history. One time, it was because a woman printed out information from our website and left laying on the table. He wasn't out there 'googling' and suddenly landed on our message board.

The software I chose does not plant people's messages all over the Internet like public forums on MSN did. 

I've been managing message boards since 2003 and tried numerous different ways to keep a forum anonymous AND intimate. O yea, that's a challenge! 


Hugs,
CZ

[Geneva]

I am new to the forum and prefer to keep my email private however it is not. Can an administrator fix that for me? I checked the box for privacy and still I'm "out there".  Help please.

[SydneyFireworks]

Hi Geneva - and welcome to WoN!

Don't worry - your profile and email address can't be viewed by either guests or other WoN members.  Members can only view their own profiles.  So your information is safe 

Again, welcome... we look forward to getting to know you! 

Hugs
Syd

[Geneva]

Thanks Litha and Sydney, it doesn't show up on my profile, it shows up on the members list, where others emails also show up if you click the envelope icon. I can see the email addresses of everyone who has that icon on the members list. That is what I am trying to fix.

[CZBZ]

Anyone who is comfortable displaying their email address, will have an icon by their name.

What's confusing is that YOU will also have an icon by your name because YOU are reviewing your own membership. Other people will not see your icon, though.

I posted a query on the General Board so we could test this out. We've checked before but it's been several months so let's try it again and make absolutely certain about your privacy!


Hugs,
CZ

[Geneva]

Thanks again CZ, Litha and Sydney   

[May]

Hi CZ,  I`m trying to get my e-mail address so it`s not public and it keeps showing up. I can view others on the members list too. I would like to have it taken off the members list. Thanks.

[Legs]

me too..have tried several times to blank it out, but am not sure if it's really gone....

Legs

[SydneyFireworks]

Legs and May:

Rest assured that your email addresses are not visible to anyone - either in the member list or your profiles - other than yourself.  You see your own because it's well.... yours.  

If you look at the member list you will see the little email envelope thingie next to some names, but not others.  If you opted to hide your email address, other people looking at the list will not see the email envelope next to your name.  I just checked... and no email envelope next to either of your names.  

I opted not to hide my email address so if you look me up on the member list you will see I do have the email envelope.

Hugs
Syd

[Legs]

Thanks, Syd for checking for me.....I do think it's a little confusing to have a profile page and then not be able to view a profile, but I am fine with that.better than fine actually because I have been on a couple of other N-sane lists and have gotten some email from some members and some was ok and some was not and now I don't have to decide to to blow off.....just a sign of that codepe-N-dent behavior I am so darn good at~!!



Legs, who has spent two days making an expense list for Vampire Attorney and is trying to make it using Excel after only having had one class.....it's a good thing and a bad thing. I have the thing done except for figuring out how to do subtotals and then a grand total for all and then cost averaging. No, I am not a math person., but I am learning how to write the formulas and I think I can do this. Old dogs can sometimes learn a new trick if bacon is involved.

[May]

  Thanks, Syd.

[CZBZ]

It is confusing. It is. So guess what? Your perceptions are accurate.  It's confusing AND it's a little scary to see your email address displayed if you're concerned about your privacy. We have tested this up one side and down the other, making absolutely sure the system works appropriately.

We could have changed the settings so your profile would be visible. In most cases, that's perfectly fine. Letting people view your profile (and you theirs) is how most websites function. For a site that deals with sensitive issues though, we didn't want our forum to be the next hot spot for picking up cyber dates.  That's why ALL profiles are private and even managers helping me run the forum are unable to view people's profiles. The only person who can see your profile is me. Everyone sees the Polite Screen. It says, "Sorry but not everyone can view profiles" or something like that.

YOU, however, can see your own profile. This has proven to be a good suggestion by SMF software since people often create a couple of email accounts and can't remember which one they used to join WoN. You can click on your profile to find out.

On the member list (three kitty cats icon), each person has a choice as to whether they want to display their email address or website or blog. You don't have a choice on PROFILES (I made that decision for you and the decision was "No"  ). You can display your email if you choose on the Membership List. You will see a little envelope by each person's screenname if they have selected a "public" option.

The really WEIRD thing though is that YOU will see your own envelope even if you selected a private setting. I guess that means it's okay to email yourself. 

NO ONE ELSE SEES AN ENVELOPE if you ticked the box to make it PRIVATE. You still see it. Nobody else does. Except for me. I see everyone's envelope but you can be pretty darn sure I won't be spamming your email accounts. I prefer to spam the WoN board. LOLLOLLOLLOL!!!

Some of our members are in very sensitive situations and even though it's unlikely a narcissist would ever ever find you on the web (if you have created an anonymous screenname, email account and don't name the narcissist or his girlfriend  ). We do everything we possibly can to keep this forum safe and secure but each of you is wise to realise that nothing is ever 100% perfect. I very much appreciate everyone's concern and am so glad to see how careful you are making sure you remain anonymous and safe. I'd much rather everyone ask me questions like this every single day than put yourself in harm's way.

Always ask questions! Always.


Hugs,
CZ

[lifecoach]

Thank you so much for protecting us.  It really helps the poster not be so scared
of backlash from the N.
You rock CZ!

[CZBZ]

To lifecoach:  

I learned my lessons about 'privacy' the hard way. The 'other woman' was my most dutiful reader when I was posting away on the NPD forum many years ago. After collecting my posts for my husband to read, he reprimanded me for 'betraying' his privacy and making fun of him. At first (we were still in the process of divorce), I quit posting entirely and then decided  my task was to Stand Up For Me and stop running in fear; to especially STOP protecting his widdle feewings because he wasn't worried about protecting mine!

I loved the guy. I truly did. DID being the keyword here.  

As a result, I am very sensitive to everyone's privacy on this forum and try to do whatever possible to protect you from a similar situation. The key thing is choosing a screenname that isn't  identifiable. There are thousands, if not tens of thousands, if not millions of message boards on the Internet. The chances of a narcissist finding YOU on WoN are slim to none.

Another reason for restricting profile viewing is to protect you from 'troller's and 'spammers' who send the most hideous subject titles to your intray. If your email is made public, it's like opening your front door to narcissists and predators and folks who get their kicks out of shocking other people. Even if they aren't THERE to witness your reactions to their porno-spam.  

Anybody have other questions? I love answering questions!


Hugs,
CZ