forensic accountants

[betterdays]

Well, thanks to Cz digging up posts, and I think it was RB's that mentioned this obscure profession, I found a forensic accountant by googling the term plus our town.  The man said we can trace bank accounts by SSI number, and that he charges $200 per hour for the work.  Cases vary, but he said about 20 hours would be needed.  I think I can cut that down and do the basic work myself.  Next I will try to find if he has access to databases that I do not, and how to get access.  If I can do this on my own, I will.

This site is a godsend.

[RB22]

Glad I could help... and doing any of the work you can will save you money. 

 

Same friend called banks and found someone nice to talk to... asking if they could access accounts thru SS number... some would, some wouldn't... some did. 

She found her X had accounts at credit unions  in every city he visited over the last 5 years of their marriage.  Basically if he visited a city.... he made a deposit... somewhere.

She actually found close to a million he had secured away.....

nice.... he was more than a little angry at her....

Good luck.

RB

[Litha]

RB, what an inspirational post! Readiing that was a great way to start my day.

Good luck betterdays, I hope you crush the SOB

[NewWings4MeNow]

Better,

This is a good way to go if there are enough assets to justify the not-inconsequential expense.  

In my case the court Special Master/CPA was also a family lawyer.  He interviewed XNH and his new consulting firm partners at their new office.  No deeper forensics were done.

Came away and told me privately that, in his 25 years of practice, XNH was the "biggest con man and huckster" he'd ever seen.  Told me he thought XNH was going to "take a [legal] fall" and "I don't want you anywhere near him when it happens".  

During our four-way meeting he told XNH that if he discovered XNH was hiding assets, he'd go after him himself.

XNH didn't provide bank statements for about six months of our last year together -- so clearly he was hiding something or was transferring assets out.  He did use one of my club credit cards to make multiple purchases the first several weeks he was gone -- without my knowledge or agreement.  And he did clean out our supposedly frozen joint investment account.  Mr. White Collar Crime.  

In retrospect, if we'd had more assets and I'd had the brain cells, I'd have hired one.  

Mostly I just wanted to be out and away, and have continued to be vigilant through time to ensure appropriate firewalls between my interests and him.

Hope this goes well for you.

NewWings4MeNow

[betterdays]

Thanks, RB, Litha, and NewWings,

The cost is so high, and I suspect, pretty inflated.   The only way I could do it is if I can get into the same databases the accountants use, and I was looking all yesterday to try to figure it out.  I am not so good with all that, but I may schmooze N enough to make him slip up. All I need is a whiff of smoke to find the fire.  There can't be that much missing unless he skims by getting cash or gifts, which a very few people do pay him with.  As long as he thinks I am buying him a new puppy (!) and planning a July vacation for next year, he is likely to screw up.

[SusyP14]

bumping for SMP

[smp]

Thanks so much for this SuzyP14 - I am getting rather good at this!! I did find that my stbxn has gotten more than the $5000.00 from his dad's trust by July this year, as he told the court. I see $19,000.00 in January alone. I now see that he has SPENT $164,000.00 between his atm/cash advances,  checks written, and visa   - the visa is not a real credit card, more of a debit card. The funds come from the main trust to cover what he spends - 3.9 million in one "main trust"!! He actually keeps less than $2000.00 in his personal trust account as a balance - but has spent all that money since Jan. THIS YEAR - and he wants support from me!!

[Legs]

See? Look how good you got at spotting stuff right away as soon as you sat down and actually looked..I too used to think I was not good with numbers or figuring anything out, but I have gotten REALLY good at it over the last year. Am not saying I am a wizard or anything, but I can read and so simple math and if you have the paperwork, the GO TO TOWN, COWGIRL@!!!!!!!



Yippie! Yehaw! Yahoo!!!!


Legs, blowing smoke off the tip of my ha-N-d Gun

[CZBZ]

FANTASTIC!

You know, it might not seem like a big deal to people who weren't in relationship with a narcissist. However, it's an extremely positive sign of your SURVIVAL SKILL when you take the initiative to seek out the truth rather than taking the N's word for it. We want to believe them, to accept their word that they are honest. We want to believe they would never cheat us or deceive us at least out of respect for the relationship. So we close our eyes or put blinders on because we don't want our 'beliefs' to be shattered.

We do this:

 

It's dysfunctional and it's dangerous and it's common

Good for you, smp. Good for you for having the courage and stamina and guts to dig into his finances and seek the truth for yourself! Good for you for working with people on this forum and asking for help and then double good-for-you for taking action!

What an arse.

By the way, narcissists like to ask for alimony from a spouse who has no earning potential to speak of. Not because they are worried about finances themselves but because narcissists just LOVE to twist the knife if they can. My X found it hilarious (and humiliating for me) to insist on a clause in our divorce agreement that gave him the right to ask for alimony in the event I had an income. Had I not seen the glee in his eyes, I might never have known how sadistic narcissists can be (and are).

Hold yer head up and stick it to him, smp.


Hugs,
CZ

[smp]

I am still trying!! My main goal is to get him away from my home - he has use of the property next door FOR NOW. Doing all that research, is pretty empowering - I am able to do just about anything to protect myself and my family - once I knew I had to protect us! I so do NOT feel like a victim. Thanks so much  for all the help and support - not always sure what to do, but you guys have come through with ideas as to a direction. I always tell my students that "the sign of a truly educated person is not their ability to spout off facts,  but rather to know where to go to get the information they need." And I am so very glad I came here!! I do know that in California, the inheritance is "separate property" I will get none of it - but I  will not have to pay him support nor give him half my retirement!! But I should possibly be able to get support from him since it is still considered "income." Would be blood money though, I do make a decent wage and can truly afford myself (see, I have so much to be grateful for) I just truly want him out of the property next door. I just need to weigh the possibility of "getting rid" of him, or maybe setting myself up for continuing problems.