Confused Newby

[Legs]

I know this sounds really crazy.  I have always been a skeptic of ghosts and such.  However, the house we live in feels like it's being haunted. It's felt like that since we moved in about 6 months ago.  My oldest D experiences it more than I do and she's too afraid to go in her room.  She hasn't slept in her room for months.  Something turns her lights off and on, her radio off and on, rows of her blinds open by themselves etc.  Crayons fall off her book shelf and doors open and close and we can hear foot steps etc.  We also feel stuff sit on the couch or bed and sometimes we just get a feeling of un-easiness.
This is also causing us stress.

Clare,

 I read somewhere that 1/3 of people think or admit that they have seen a "ghost". I think there are two kinds of them..one kind is just like a tape recording...like back in the day when you'd record a new album (oh, how she just dated herself) over a cassette tape (she just did it again) sometimes, you could hear very faintly the sound of the first album on that tape.

And I think some ghosts are still animated by their spirit or soul, and they may have stayed here to be in contact with a loved one or to try and finish something here on earth. Do you have any feeling for the ghost? If it is malevolent or just there?

It might even be "poltergeist" activity which could be a manifestation of energy put out by someone living in the house.

Sometimes you can have a religious leader come and bless the house. Some people burn sage to make the spirits leave. Some people tie up bits of salt and place a bag in every corner of the house (even the closets and garage and the front and back porch)and ask the spirit to depart.

I did that once in a house with some unusual results...the thing was angry, I believe but it did go away.

Legs, whose whole family sees ghosts so it's no big deal....it was creepy the first time. I have a friend right ow whose departed husband is still in their home almost a year later. She is elated and does not want him to go. I know that sounds crazy, but I believe my first husband stayed around about ten days after he died.  He told me things and helped me find things I needed...even the cat heard the sound of his car in the driveway and his keys in the front door

[Clare]

I do feel the presence of something in my home.  It seems to go to different rooms and there seems to be more than one.  One of them feels a little negative but not evil.  There are times when I enter a room and I  feel tingling that starts in my feet and goes all the way up through my stomach.  I also feel a little dizzy when I enter a room in my home sometimes.  When I feel that way I defiantly feel a presence in the room. I sometimes feel something touch my foot or my arm or something. 
I'm not sure what all that means. I've never been psychic or anything.  I feel ridiculous even telling anyone about this.  I lived in a small duplex about 4 years ago and would often feel a presence in that place.  Whatever it was I felt didn't make noise or mess with us like now.  Occasionally a light would blink or something in the duplex, but nothing like what we are currently experiencing.  I have doubted my feelings because it seems silly and I don't understand it.  However, the action going on in my house is too much to ignore.
There are times I will walk in a room and feel a presence but don't feel it is negative.  This is why I think there is more than one.
I might ignore it more, but my kids notice it and they are afraid. I read about the sage online.  I did burn some this weekend.  I have felt still felt a presence but it's been quiet. 

[Legs]

so are you saying there are two different presences? I know, it sounds crazy....I don't tell many people about my experiences..not unless thy go FIRST!

Hope that sage works for you...you might try speaking to it and asking if it wants something or maybe just ask to please leave because it is disturbing you.


Legs

[Clare]

I think there is more than one presence and so does my daughter.  Like I said my daughter is more in-tune than me.  We heard foot steps the other day. We were in the kitchen and we both heard them.  I couldn't tell exactly which room or where it was coming from.  However, my daughter pointed to a specific spot and was very adamant that was where the presence was. 
I know it has to be the house.  The last house we were in didn't have any presences in them.  I have told them to go away many times and they don't.  So far the sage has helped quiet things down.  I'll use more if I start to hear stuff.

I know people are really going to think I'm crazy when I say this, but my daughter actually heard them talk one day.  I did not hear it.  She said is sounded like whispering.  The t.v. and radio's were off and no one else was home.  I believe her because she has no doubt regarding what it was.  I used to doubt my experiences and she doesn't. She seems to know where they are and which noises they are making etc.
She's not crazy or schizophrenic or anything like that.  She's never heard voices before and does not talk to voices.  The voices do not tell her to do anything.  She couldn't even understand what they said.

Anyway, I do believe the negative presence has caused a lot of the tension in my home.  This is why I brought it up.  I mentioned how stressed I am and how on edge I am and how much I've been yelling etc.  My kids are also yelling more and fighting more.  And the crazy part is that my dogs have been fighting too.  Since burning the sage things seem more peaceful. I burnt it last night and today no one is fighting and I don't feel stress today.  My dogs are even getting along.  Things seem to be back to normal.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed!



I really think there has been a negative energy around us at home.

[Legs]

Clare,

 I do not think you are crazy..I think you are sensitive and your daughter sounds even more so. I think it's a talent...like singing or drawing or speaking languages. I think if you work on developing it, you might get better at discerning what is there.

I lived in a house for a time with a spirit that made me very uncomfortable, not scared exactly...my sister lived there too and we called it The Watcher.

Hope it won't bother you anymore.


Legs

[Clare]

Thanks, Leggs.

I'm worried now.  My daughter is supposed to be going for testing with a developmental pediatrician in a week.  I sent him an e-mail asking what my out of pocket expenses are as I provided him the girls insurance information a couple weeks ago.
He said that they do not show up in the insurance company's system.  I called the insurance company today and the automated system said that there is no member with that member ID.  They have had the same insurance for 10 years under their father.  He's had the same job and the same insurance.  The company is closed today so I can't talk to a live person, but I am freaking out. 
The last day for open enrollment with my insurance was Friday.  Had I known then I would have added them to my policy.
I hope there is just a glitch in the system, but I don't know.  This has never happened before and I'm very nervous.  He has not told me about any changes in the insurance or his job.  A few years ago his company got bought out by another company.  He told me months before that actually took place that the child support may be late when that takes place.  Insurance was never effected.   

Are there any other explanations for them not showing up online or on the insurance companies automated line?

[Legs]

Oh, my gosh! Surely if he dropped her, you can add her back in on your policy.....at least I hope so! Is he the kind of person who would let that lapse without telling you????? Ok, now I am worried...when you find out tomorrow, please let us know. LIke you don't have enough to worry about.

Legs

[Clare]

He's not normally like this.  However, I wonder if he did it because I said I wanted them to go to counseling? I don't know I don't want to read too much into it.  I'm very worried.  I have all these appointments set up for them.  They have to have medical insurance.
I don't know if I can add them or not.  My last day of enrollment was Friday.  I had a gut feeling on Friday that I should go ahead and add them as secondary to my policy.  I ignored my gut feeling and didn't do that. 
I will call his insurance first thing in the morning and if it's canceled I will call my HR department and see if I can still add them.

[Clare]

Ok, I'm relieved.  My kids do have insurance! It must have been a computer glitch or something over the weekend.  I spoke to a live person and she doesn't know why it showed no coverage this weekend.  There has been no lapse in coverage or anything.
I'm so thankful!  He is typically fearful of the courts and consequences for not paying child support and providing insurance.  He does pay his bills on time each month and is not one to risk facing jail or contempt of court or anything like that.  He works hard to make himself look good.  He wants to be seen as a great father and man.  I would never expect him to stop paying w/o the courts approval.  He would totally ignore rules/laws etc. if he knows he will not get caught.  He knows I would have his rear end in court a.s.a.p. if he pulled a stunt like that.  He would never want to go in front of a judge and be viewed as the one at fault or the "bad one".  He likes me to be that person.

[RB22]

I know this sounds really crazy.  I have always been a skeptic of ghosts and such.  However, the house we live in feels like it's being haunted. It's felt like that since we moved in about 6 months ago.  My oldest D experiences it more than I do and she's too afraid to go in her room.  She hasn't slept in her room for months.  Something turns her lights off and on, her radio off and on, rows of her blinds open by themselves etc.  Crayons fall off her book shelf and doors open and close and we can hear foot steps etc.  We also feel stuff sit on the couch or bed and sometimes we just get a feeling of un-easiness.
This is also causing us stress.

Doesn't sound crazy to me... have you thought of asking the ghost to leave....I had a ghost in my apt... similar stuff was happening.  And a friend gave me the idea to tell the ghost that It was scaring me and could it please leave.  I hadn't felt a presence or had things happen after I said that. 

It couldn't hurt to try.

hugs,

RB

[Legs]

Clare!
 Am so relieved and thanks for letting us know....am so glad yours adheres to the law. Mine doesn't think he has to.
And so far, he has gotten away with it so he still thinks he can do whatever he wants.


Legs

[Clare]

I'm sorry Leggs.  I know my ex is a jerk and mean and only does the bare minimum.  He's not the father the girls want him to be.  However, I know that there are so many single mom's out there who's ex's do not pay any child support all that other dead beat dad stuff.
In learning how my ex talks to my girls and the behavior I saw I almost wish he never stuck around and built a relationship with them in the first place as that would have been easier for them than this rejection now.
Of course I would still want the checks to come and have the medical insurance.  I guess very few have a perfect set up even in N disorder is not involved.

Anyway, to the other poster I have told it/them to leave and it/they are not leaving.  I am not sleeping at night because of it.  I was up until 4:00 a.m.  I don't know if it's jacking with me or what but as soon as I dose off something happens to wake me up suddenly.  Last night it felt like it was in the same room as me.  Usually I hear most of the noises upstairs and I'm downstairs.  My bedroom is downstairs.  My kids have been sleeping there due to being afraid upstairs.  I have been sleeping on the couch as a queen bed is too small for 3. I dosed off once around 2ish and then woke up feeling the couch vibrate.  It lasted about 30 to 60 seconds but it was enough to wake me up.  I then felt something touch my head or hair.  I felt a prick on my hand.  Almost like some poked it with something.  Shortly after that I felt the same prick on top of my head.  Then heard foot steps down the hallway off the living room towards my room where the kids were.  I checked on them and they were sound asleep. 

Then I got settled back on the couch and shortly after I heard someone coming to the living room from my bedroom.  I not only heard it but felt a very strong presense and thought I even heard like a sigh sound.  (like somone sighed)  I thought that was my youngest daughter..I don't know if it was the noise or what but it really felt like it was her.  I turned around towards my room waiting for her to approach me and she didnt.  I got up and went back in there and she was in the same spot and position as last time I checked on her...sound a sleep.


This type of stuff goes on all night and freaks me out so much that I can't sleep.  I told it to go away and go to the white light and told it this is my house etc.  It continues on  with what it wants to do.  I have burnt sage and light white candles around.   I don't know if this thing is evil or not.  I don't think it's evil, but do feel negativity....like it's upset or something.   

I have crosses around and the girls and I have been saying the St. Michael's prayer outloud.  I don't know what else to do.  I have got to get some sleep!

It's been 2 months since I've gotten a good full nights sleep.  Maybe that's why I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous break down.
I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin or something.   My kids are scared to death and do not like going home.  I bought them each a rosary to wear around the house and I hung up pictures of Jesus, angels, St. Michael, and Mary above my bed where they sleep.   I don't know if it does anything but it makes them feel more secure.

We have never been religous and rarely go to church.  We are christian though.  I grew up catholic but do not currently practice. 
Personally, I am not a big fan of organized religion.  I believe in the christianity faith and believe we should be good, honest, caring, kind, and do the right thing in life. 

I went and bought those photos and some white candles and such to ensure only positive energy is in our home.  If I can't make it go I hope to make it "good" and not "evil". 

I don't know what to do.  We have to get sleep.  The girls fell asleep early last night.  I just got them the photos and rosary yesterday.  I lit a white candle in their room and they wore their rosarys to bed and we hung the photos above them and said some prayers together.  I think that helped them feel safe and they fell asleep quickly. Of course I blew the candle out after they fell asleep.  I let them keep my t.v. on so they wouldn't hear the noises upstairs.

Anyway, my older daughter cried on Sunday.  She said that her dad hates her.  She told me that he never spends time with her and he never sits by her or anything.  She talked about times when she'd go sit near him on the couch and she'd have her legs folded at the knees and to the side of her...I don't know how to describe it but's a common way people sit on couches sometimes.  Her feet were near her dad and facing him.   She said my youngest came up and said she wanted to sit there and told oldest D (OD) to scoot over.  Youngest D (YD) started to sit on (OD's) legs to be close to their dad.  She said that her dad told her if she is going to sit with her legs out then she needs to sit else where so everyone can sit on couch.  OD's feelings were hurt as she was wanting to be near him.  She said she moved and then YD sat next to him.  OD didn't say she was upset or hurt.
OD says something similar always happens when she tries to sit by her dad.   I don't know if it's really "always" as I know how kids are and things are usually "always" or "never" with them.   However, the bottom line is my OD feels she doesn't get quality time and attention from her dad and she feels her dad doesn't love her.  OD has made comments about feeling unloved or unliked by her dad off and on for years.

The day we were at the park for that awful meeting I mentioned to him that the girls would like more quality time with him.  He said they play games and stuff all the time together.  Sunday OD said she doesn't know why he said that as they "never" play games and her dad "never" spends time with her.

Again, don't know if "never" is accurate.  However, I remember feeling lonely when I was married to him.  He can be in the same house and same room and there is an emptiness and loneliness feeling that I always had.  I wanted to feel loved, adored, and wanted by him.  I never did.  I then thought it was because we didn't spend time together.  I started wanting more of his time and was hurt when he wanted to go with friends or his family.  I would get upset and tell him that I needed him.   He felt he spent all his time with me when not at work.   He then thought I was nagging him and too needy. 

I didn't work so I didn't like spending money.  I never spent money on me.  I bought him clothes and the girls clothes when I did spend money.  I felt like he needed clothes more since he worked outside the house.  Obviously the kids needed them....they were babies and out grew them quickly.
He would like to wear his pants too long where he'd step on them and then stuff his pockets with keys, cell phone, and stuff.  In my opinion he didn't look professional and should look the part in the business world.   I would tell him that if he likes his pants long then that's fine outside of work, but at work he needs to be professional.

He got mad at me and told me that I know nothing about style and I never look nice or stylish.  I was so upset and hurt.  I recently gave birth to our 2nd and had some baby weight on me.  I also never bought myself anything as I didn't feel I should.
I took his department store credit card and took myself on a shopping trip. I said fine then I'm going shopping so I can be "stylish".  I bought the most expensive Jeans I could find...by Calvin Klein...it was like a Dillards I think.  I bought shirts, shoes and some other pants.  I spent around $500 on his card.  He got so mad and talked me into taking the clothes back.  I think I kept the jeans and a pair of shoes...the rest went back.

It's ironic that he's so into being stylish as the clothes he hs for the girls at his house are dorky clothes that are way too small and tight.  They are at the age where being trendy is highly important!

Okay, have to run.

[RB22]

Try ASKING them to leave... I have found Noone (not even a ghost) likes to be told to DO something they don't want to do.  If you ask, nicely, you just might get it.

As for your older D having time with him... can you pick up your younger D a couple of hours early... so OD has some alone time with him.  My girls do this.... during the week... they are together at whatever parent has them that week.  On the weekends... I get one kid, he gets one kid. So we both get them together and separately. Not my choice.. but theirs and it works for them... which is what counts.

Hugs,

RB

[Legs]

Clare,

 I may sound like a fruitcake, but my sister and I had a thing in our house one time..it was there for a while. We called it The Watcher. It was really creeping her out, so we tied up table salt in squares of white sheeting and tied the bags with white string. We tried to be very peaceful and prayerful and have good thoughts while we were working. It took several days. We made enough bags to put in every corner of the house and garage and the front and back porch. We put them into the cabinet corners and into furniture that had a shelf...every shelf of every bookcase..we checked and double checked to make sure we had put salt every place and if a piece of furniture touched the wall and made another "corner" The night of the day we put them out, I was awakened by something turning on the light and I could see something...two somethings actually moving the diagonal corners of my mattress up and down like it was trying to shake me off the bed. I heard my sister scream and then all at once every water faucet in the house came on. I hadn't thought about this in years! Even the faucets in the yard were turned on..the washing machine came on too.

It was scary, and we stayed up all night and then we burned all the bags of salt, but the salt didn't burn up! I learned later you can't burn salt, but we thought at the time it was strange. I have heard you can just sprinkle salt in every corner and then sweep it up and burn it, but that won't work on a carpet and if salt doesn't burn, hiw can you burn it up???


Legs

Whatever that was went away or if if stayed, we didn't feel it anymore.

[Clare]

I've heard that spirtits can't go near salt.  Nothing happened last night and so far so good tonight.

I was offered a new position on Tuesday.  It was for that job I interviewed for last week.  I put in my resignation letter to my current job and felt a huge weight lifted.  However, I really want time off before I start my new job.  I feel torn.  I want to clear out my cases so the other workers don't have to work my cases when I'm gone.  I don't want anyone mad at me or talking about me because I left a lot of cases for them to have to work.  Everyone has too much work and I feel bad.  On the other hand I really need some time off.  I've been working overtime and worked until 2:00 a.m. yesterday.  I have delegated a lot of tasks to support staff. I will work this weekend.  I initially said that the 20th would be my last day.  I am trying to work overtime and get a lot done so that I will not have to work til the 20th. I told my boss that I want to get us much done in a short amount of time so I can take some time off.
I wont be able to take time off for awhile once I start my new job.  I'm still going to be working for the state so all my time and leave will transfer over.  However, I'll be training for awhile and new so it will not look good to take time off too soon.
This job will much less stressfull and I think I'll enjoy it. 

Also, I got into an arguement with a friend on Monday morning.  I keep thinking about it and I know I was partly in the wrong and I think she was too.  However, it seems like whenever we disagree or get upset with each other and we talk about it later she always makes it sound very simple and what I did wrong.  She will take responsibility for her doings, but in the end I always feel like I was really the one in the wrong.  I don't know if this is my perception becasue of growing up with N and marrying an N or not?  My friend is not an N.  She is giving and thoughtfull etc.  However, she is one of those that likes to be right and knows everything. 
I will make it quick. My friend is a teacher and off in the summer. She told me at the end of the school year that she could help watch my girls. Then she decided to work summer school. My kids spent most of June with their dad anyway.  Then in July she did some work still for extra money at the school. I understand that.  I have another friend who kept them some.  I don't mind leaving them home alone for a few hours, but don't want them alone all day long.  I can't afford camps or anything.  Anyway, my friend helped lead a 2 week camp at her school.  The last week of camp she said, "I wont have camp next week so I can watch the girls".  She is doing an excersize class thing and a few other things here and there.  She asked me to give her a days notice.  I agreed.  I planned on taking them to another friends house this week. Monday night my friend told me Tues and Fri she's unavailable.  I was going to ask this friend to look after them on Tues.  I completely forgot on Mon. evening.  My daughter had her counseling apt. and I worked late and had to hurry and get dinner etc.  I called her Tues. a.m. told her that I was really sorry for not giving notice and how I forgot.  I told her that they can stay at home for a few hours, but if she would mind taking them in the afternoon or something.  She said yeah I can but will not be home until 3ish and then have to go to laundry mat cuz her washer went out on her.  She said she had to work til 3.  I thought she said she  was off this week. I didn't say that to her, but was confused.  She sounded abrupt and like she really didn't want to but she didn't tell me she didn't want to. 
Then she'd say in a nice voice, "I really don't mind though".  I honestly don't remember what I said but I did feel like I was on the defense. She told me to stop being defensive and how she can't worry about hurting my feelings.  I told her never mind and I'd make other arrangements and I just hung up the phone.  I then felt uneasy because of being defensive.  THe more I think about it I feel like her tone of voice and the way she was saying things caused me to be on the defensive.  She could have easily said, I'm sorry but I can't.  That would have been ok and I would have understood.
I ended up leaving them home alone for about 4 hours and then I went to pick them up and brought them to work with me for the remainder of the day.  I had them bring books, crayons, and some DVD's to keep them busy.  It worked out fine.
Tomorrow I'm going to leave them home for part of the day and I plan on working from home the other part of the day.  I will work this weekend too.

THe girls are 10 and 12 so they are old enough, but they start fighting after awhile and they get bored etc.  I write a list of stuff for them to do during the time they are home.  I designate computer time, t.v. time, chores, games, snacks, lunch etc.  That way they have a list of stuff and wont get as bored and wont fight etc.

Do you think I was out of line with my friend? 
I've felt so stressed and so on edge lately that I am short tempered and everyone has been getting on my nerves.  I have not called her because I feel like I need some down time and I'm trying to get work done.  I don't feel like talking on the phone to anyone right now.  I'm not mad at her and I don't feel angry.  I really just feel like I need space and don't want to have any sort of arguement or disagreement or whatever.  I just don't have the energy.

The stess is taking a toll on me.  My entire body aches.  My joints and my muscles are very sore and stiff.  I feel so tired and my stomach has been hurting. 

I also have not spoken to my mom or my ex.  I especially do not have the energy for them.
My ex had a baby in June.  He e-mailed pics of her to my daughter.  He didn't write anything in the e-mail.  What's up with that? 
I don't know what to do about all this.  I don't want the girls to not have any contact with their dad. However, I know he's not going to ever change.   My plan was to have the girls go to counseling for awhile and be able to open up about how they feel towards their dad and how he behaves etc before going there again.
Now I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do.  My oldest daughter says she doesn't miss him and my youngest does.  Neither one of them have said a word about my mom.
Maybe, I'm just being selfish and missing my quiet time.  Now the girls are always here and they've been fighting a lot and I don't feel well etc....
I'm all mixed up I guess.