"To speak of narcissism as holy may seem odd, or even contradictory, because we hear so much about narcissism as dysfunctional and even pathological. If you have had the opportunity to live or work with persons who are narcissistic, you know quite well their need for an audience to applaud, affirm, approve, admire, and adore. In addition, you may have also felt their wrath and abuse as they can easily exhibit rage when frustrated, contradicted, limited or confronted. So, how is it that narcissism can be healthy or even holy?
First, it is important to make a distinction between pathological or malignant narcissism and healthy narcissism or self-love. Most often when we say a person is a narcissist, we are referring to someone with a distorted sense of self which involves feelings of grandiosity and self-importance, being obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, brilliance and power. With a conviction of being special, narcissists often believe they can only be understood by others who are unique, special or of high status. Typically, they derive sustenance and meaning from the outside, and their inner life is best characterized as hollow or empty. Contrary to appearances, they experience not too much self-love, but an absence of true self-love. Paradoxically, narcissists compensate for lacks and deficiencies by exaggerating tendencies and traits. They prey on others for the satisfaction of their narcissistic cravings by either overvaluing or devaluing others. Narcissists may look good at a distance, while with those close to them, they are masters of hurtful or dismissive comments, and often punish by silence, ignoring, showing up late or forgetting.
Today, worldwide, unhealthy narcissism seems to be encouraged and is thriving. In contrast, healthy narcissism is healthy self-love. Every person develops healthy self-love early in life and will continue to manifest “healthy narcissism” unless it is rendered pathological by abuse. Abuse here is defined as “any refusal to acknowledge the emerging boundaries of an individual by smothering, doting, excessive expectations or by physical, emotional or sexual abuse” (Sam Vaknin). When children grow up in environments that are unable to offer unconditional love and an adequate empathic mirror, they will have difficulty developing a self-image of adequacy and value..."
To read 3-page article, click
HERE
Total Members: 
