How are they so good at manipulating?

[redhairtemper]

RB22:

Thank you for your story.  My ex-therapist had the same attitude:  don't tell the kids or let my ex tell the kids about the affairs.

I stopped protecting him and opened up and it has been the best thing for my boys.  They no longer believe anything their dad says and they now are getting pretty good at living a life with an N in it.  They are also moving towards NC, which I thank God is happening now and not 20 years from now like so many children of Ns.

[RB22]

eyes,

I think if you are dealing with someone who shares values that the kids don't need particulars only how things affect them.. then I really don't think they need to know the details. 

But in the case of one parent being an N... it isn't the normal divorce that normal people have.

[RB22]

Red,

I think the kids know what went on... even if they never talk about it.  They are very susceptible to the undercurrents running in a family.  I know I was.  I can't imagine that I was very different than most other kids.

I bet it validated what they were feeling.... and it gave reasons for the undercurrents... which help them as young people to develop what I call a BS meter.  Where they can tell when someone is BSing them.  They need that to NOT be taken advantage of in the real world. 

I will not mention, how many kids who have others determining their voice... end up following the wrong crowd... because they were never taught to listen to what is inside them... never mind trust it.

Hugs,

RB