Tawanda!

[Charlotte Z. Cavatica]

~Foofoogirliegirl, 2005~

"Remember Fried Green Tomatoes and the character Kathy Bates played? I hope we all can have our own personal "Tawanda" moments! I like to view us all as survivors.  We are all so much stronger than we think.  We just need to believe in ourselves and our own special abilities.
 
While I could have more than skipped this "experience", it was part of my own personal journey and I've come out of it a better, stronger person (I will never be the same before the N, but that's okay with me!  I now have boundaries, know what I want, know that that kind of behavior isn't normal, and I don't need to be as naive as I was).  I've resolved much of my own personal baggage from childhood and that's a really good thing.
 
Really, if we can get through this, we can meet any challenge thrown our way.
 
I hope we all come to our own Tawanda moments where they no longer have any kind of power over us at all.  I've come to that point and I've got to tell you it feels great!"

[CZBZ]

~Anonymous WoN member~

"You should fight within what is ethical and within the law.  Have NO DOUBT about it though - you MUST FIGHT. 

One of the most theraputic things I have ever done is fight for myself as if I were finally worth fighting for.  Because I am.  And protecting myself and my children was the right and important thing to do.  I went through nearly 2 years of legal hassles and LOTS of manipulation of the children.  It was horrible.  And unfortunately, it has not let up.  I don't regret it though.  I think I would have regretted NOT fighting the N.  I would have regretted not FINALLY holding my xNH accountable for every dispicable thing he pulled.
 
The N is counting on you to back down.  He is counting on his ability to continue to manipulate you and get his way.  DON'T fall for it.  I had pangs of guilt along the way.  We are targets partly because we have such an over-developed sense of empathy, responsibility and fairness.  Never doubt that the N hates you.  Your sympathy is better spent in other places.
 
Fight the good fight!"