God wants someone to read this...

[ILoveMyHnD]

Hello everyone! Hope you all are doing as well as you possibly can considering most are dealing with N's. I haven’t been here in quite a few months. However, as my title says, God has laid it on my heart to come back.
I just want to let everyone know that God is about to do something BIG in my life and it’s going to impact the world of narcissism tremendously in my life. It may impact yours as well. It may be why I’m here. I’m just here to be obedient as I believe is very important in my Christian walk.
I’m coming up on 1 year of nearly NO contact with my N birthgiver (as I do not call her mother- it means so much more). We’re in the middle of a court case because of her (nbirthgiver) currently. In April, we will have mediation. I’m preparing to face her for the first time ever in a situation where there will be witnesses who are more than "enablers"...they will be attorney's and mediators as well. Let me add a little more...It will also include my enabling Father and N ex/child's father. Yes, I used to be hooked dead in the middle of the narcissist WEB of torture. I did it to myself...I looked for Love in the wrong places...exactly where I was taught to look for it. It was probably in the same places you looked for it as well. I’m here saying now that HIS (God's) love has set me free, there are NO more chains on me.
 I’m free and yet, the N's in my PAST are still out for the kill. What do they want? My daughter...my precious, innocent, pursuable, impressionable (easily manipulated), fragile 4 year old is still being taken around my N birthgiver...by her N father.
 Why are we in court? Because my N ex/child's father has hired my enabling father's attorney (maybe N birthgiver/enabling father are paying? since N ex has no money?) I have agreed to give him the extra time that he wants with our daughter.  Meanwhile I have just asked that he not take her around my N mother. He won’t agree to that. As we now disagree about custody, the N birthgiver has CREATED a loop hole in our States Law that allows her to motion to intervene.
You see, Last summer after cutting off contact with N birthgiver, my enabling father approached my attorney and asked her to represent him in suing me for grandparents rights to visitation with my daughter. She by law had to tell him no because I was her client. Meanwhile, I was offering for my father to see my daughter and for the 2 of my "parents" to see her either in my home with my husband present or in a public place. My Nbirthgiver refused, insisting that she wants time alone with my daughter, not with our family.
For most of you with N experience, you know why she wants alone time. She wants control and ability to manipulate, triangulate and destroy.  She has already influenced my daughter to come home screaming, yelling, pulling my hair and telling me that she doesn’t like me, that I’m mean/rude/bad etc,  and that she wants to go live with my Nbirthgiver who doesn’t want her to go to school, but instead to stay with her. She comes home an entirely different person when she has been around my Nbirthgiver and I don’t even have to ask if she has been around her, I already know before she tells me. She is being taught by ‘someone’ to lie and say “no, no, no I did not go see Nbirthgiver”, however, she is four and she tells anyways.
It’s really big to me that I’m being taken to court by my ex who used to hate and be hated by my Nbirthgiver. Because of manipulation and self-righteous motives they BOTH have found use for each other. Imagine how that’s going to go when one is finished with the other. It will be two Narcissists battling it out for their “feed” when they find each other useless. It doesn’t really matter to me except my 4 year old daughter is going to be put in the middle of it. She already has been.
If mediation doesn’t end this disagreement, a court hearing will be scheduled. I’m praying for it to end with mediation and I believe that Our God can do that. It’s all about His Will regardless. Don’t be alarmed, I have very wonderful, perfectly sane half –sister (we have the same father) who has experienced much of the same things I have experienced who will be there for support. My husband is tremendous support and his family is as well. 
God has shown me that regardless of what happens in mediation that I must ( and will) treat my Nbirthgiver and Nex with the love of Christ. I personally feel like I’m going to be staring satan straight in eyes when doing so, however, He who lives in me is stronger than he who lives in the world.  For those of you dealing with narcissist I asked that you put yourself in a room with that N, their attorney, a mediator and your attorney. How would you feel and how do you think you would handle the situation when confronted with the expected treatment of the narcissist? Do you feel that N would be ever so kind? Do you feel that they would be their rude, crude, manipulating, lying “self”? Do you think they would kill with kindness?
My Nbirthgiver is the “mean, girl hating, teen-age girl” type narcissist. You all know the type…Very self-centered, appears confident ( but actually has very low self-esteem), hates anyone who has what she wants, makes other girls’ lives miserable, lies without conscious, manipulates her way out of trouble & into getting her way, triangulates her way into relationships that she destroys between others, projects her own faults onto others, gossips non-stop, mooches off others ( as a child her parents- now her husband), and never takes responsibility for her own actions (it’s always someone else’s fault).
I can think of 2 things that might happen. The first is that she will be REALLY nice. In return, I will be really nice back. If she acts like she loves me, I hope that the mediator can see that she is bluffing. Would a loving, genuinely caring mother be opposing her daughter in court? The second option is that her true colors will shine. We all know what happens then. I’ll still be very kind.
I’m all for the truth coming out and I pray for truth to be revealed. I’m praying for a peaceful heart, mind and spirit for myself & my husband. Can you please pray for this with us? We know that God has big things in store for His people and that children have been entrusted to us to protect.  Please join us in prayer for the best interest of our daughter.  I’m open to any advice you may have to share.  Please keep in mind that we are pursuing PEACE, not war. 
Thank you for reading. I will keep everyone posted. Thank you for your prayers.
In His Love,
 

[LettingGo]

(((ILoveMyHnD)))   I don't know if you remember me from last time you were here, but we have DD the same age, and it pains me to hear your DD becoming a Puppet for the Ns. I can only imagine the Fear of her becoming like them that the enemy is trying to torment you with and hold your mind captive. The Battle is not over, it is only just beginning. I do believe your Testimony is a Strong One and is going to through Hell and become even STRONGER. This is a perfect example of the Danger of giving the N the benefit of the Doubt, and not knowing the Nature of the Beast. God is going to use your Testimony is a Major way, but right now you are beginning not Ending the Battle.

I’m all for the truth coming out and I pray for truth to be revealed. I’m praying for a peaceful heart, mind and spirit for myself & my husband. Can you please pray for this with us? We know that God has big things in store for His people and that children have been entrusted to us to protect.  Please join us in prayer for the best interest of our daughter. ~ ILoveMyHnD

I am going in agreement w/you for ALL of that. Greater is He who is in you, then He who is in the Ns.

I’m open to any advice you may have to share. ~ ILoveMyHnD

Since you are open, I will share the following.

Awhile ago the Great & Holy Spirit placed a Powerful Message in my Heart, which is Tell them I said to
Pray for their Enemies, but not be Prey for their Enemies. You are preparing yourself for both the Physical and Spiritual Battles ahead, right? I know you have legal coverage, so how are you doing w/your Spiritual Coverage? You are meditating on the Full Armor of God right? Also I want you to Google the term Reprobate, you can find it in the King James Version only, because it literally got lost in Translation, but the term and the concept of an evil person who lacks empathy, remorse, and enjoys hurting others, thus not motivated to repent and change existed thousands of years BEFORE the term Narcissist.

Being prepared for Battle means that we must know who are Enemies are and not underestimate them at all. Many Memebers @ WoN can testify how the Court is the N's Home Turf and the Ns get the Home Field Advantage. The Judge is the Ref. and from what you said, the score is pretty even, You, your DH, and your Sister against the NM and the NF and your EXNH. If I recall correctly you live in a State that is liberal w/Grandparents Rights, so an added advantage to the other side. Plus, you have a History of allowing visitation w/the NM, which I think you see now was a HUGE mistake, because as your lawyer most likily told you your past History of allowing visitation is going to count against you. It is not my intention to scare you, only to prepare you. Your Sister being NC is an Big Advantage for you, I would rec. that you express to the Mediator that you made a Huge mistake (that you deeply regret and would take back if you could) in allowing visitation, that you were trying to give the Ns the benefit of the doubt that they could be Good Grandparents even though BOTH of your parents are horrible Parents to you. Now give what they are doing to your DD you see them as a Clear and Present Danger to her Mental Health.

By referring to your Dad as an Enabler, you are still struggling w/accepting his True Identity, and I assure you that this is a HUGE mistake. Whether your Dad is a N as in Narcissist or a N as in Neglectful (Failure to Protect), the end result is the Same, he does not care enough about you to protect you from harm and he is Also supporting the NM by contributing to attacking you and turning your own DD against you. He is not only Failing to do Anything, he is actually taking an active part in hurting you, only difference is that he is quite and sneaky about it, and doesn't draw attention to himself like NM, but behind the scenes make no mistake about it, he is very much a active player on NM's army against you. Therefore if he is not a NF for Narcissitic Father, consider NF for Neglectful Father.   You are still giving him the Benefit of the Doubt that he is not a N, and you see how giving a N the Benefit of the Doubt is Deadly and is costing you. By you saying that Dad is a trustworthy person, or make excuses for him and paint him as Normal, then the Med. or Judge can say well since you don't see him as harmful, they won't either and since you trusted him in the past to supervise visits between your DD and the NM then the Med. & Judge will most likily rec. you continuing to do that even though Ndad has never protected his own Daughter (you) against the Nm and as you said failed to protect your own DD from the NM's harmful influence in turning your own DD against you. They have already planted strong seeds of doubt in your DD against you, just like the Serpent did in the Garden. You not accepting your Dad is a N was/is your weakness. He manipulated you in allowing the Visitation w/your DD in the past and that is going to come back and haunt you. Again I am not in any way trying to hurt you, but if I remain silent about this, then I am not helping you. Your Dad is the NM's Minion and he is Guilty by Association. He is not the same kind of N as NM, but he is so covered in flea bites that there is no significant difference, and they are two of a kind. He is doing her bidding, knowing full well that supporting NM is hurting you. Do not think for one minute that if he could pay to get custody away from you and give it to the NM that he would do that for her.
Please pray for a Revelation about the True Nature of your Dad. I had to do that w/the Momster. I knew the Momster did evil things, I didn't want to accept that Evil is as Evil does.

By sharing how we underestimate the Ns by giving them the Benefit of the Doubt and make a Mistake, others can learn by our experiences and hopefully avoid making the same Mistakes. ILoveMyHnD you thought your DD would be safe w/having one Ngrandparent, the NM, and one Enabler -- but you now know that your DD was not safe w/the Enabler aka Neglectful Father. It only takes one N to create a Toxic Environment, and you, your DH and your DD are learning this very costly Life Lesson that I hope you will Share It Forward to others and warn them to reconsider. We can't prevent people from making mistakes, but we can warn them in a loving way, and I hope you see that is what I am trying to do. Hard to know for sure how things will be taken over the internet.  

If she acts like she loves me, I hope that the mediator can see that she is bluffing. Would a loving, genuinely caring mother be opposing her daughter in court?  ~ ILoveMyHnD

Do not underestimate the ability for NM to N-chant others, Judges give Grandma's the Benefit of the Doubt simply because their Grannys. Their Granny disguise is VERY DECEPTIVE even to those w/lots of experience. Because you allowed past Visitation you are the one on the Defense and have to prove Endangerment. Although NM is doing wrong, you are going to be defending yourself. I pray your lawyer is great at redirecting back to the fact that these Ns are Toxic People and can turn the table on them.

  Praying for Peace on the Battle Field -- I'm not so sure about that. Peace within you ILoveMyHnD Most Definitely, Peace on the actual Battle Field when you are going head to head w/the Enemy is NOT found in any of the Situations I read about in the Bible. Those who went into Battle against an Evil Enemy prayed for many things, Courage, Strength, Discernment, Internal Peace, Reinforcements (and these are all things I will be praying for you and your Army), but for the Ns to be Peaceful -- I am not sure about that one. All things are Possible WITH God, meaning the Ns must be WITH God and be Willing to be Peaceful, and by the Ns Nature this is Not going to happen. The Ns will put on a Peacful Performance in order to N-chant others to make decisions that will benefit them, but True Peace from an Evil Being is Not Possible, because they lack the desire and the will. The Peace that the Ns will achieve is getting a Piece of you.   As Christians we are taught to rebuke Evil, do not underestimate it by giving it the Benefit of the Doubt.
What does the Bible say about being like Doves and Wolves? Matthew 10:16

Pray that the Ns unmask themselves, pray for Wisdom that if the Ns don't unmask themselves that you know what to say and how to say it that will push the Ns buttons, so that their masks come off.    

[RB22]

You have my prayers.

I use the Prayer of St. Michael the Archangel when dealing with XN. 

PRAYER TO
SAINT MICHAEL
THE ARCHANGEL
St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen..


Sums it up for me.

Hugs,


RB

[ILoveMyHnD]

Thank you RB

[JennyWren]

Dear ILoveMyHnD

Your post shows that through the HORRIBLE emotional torture your N family is subjecting you to, and the mind-frazzling tormenting worry over the welfare of your little girl, you are still pursuing the Truth and behaving totally morally for all the right reasons.

This is important for me personally, and I just wanted to share with you why. I hope you don`t mind. My only close-up experience of Christians is my NHs family, who say they are Born-Again Christians and use this platform against me. They use it as the moral high ground. Now, although I have always known this is THEIR responsibility, and not Christianity`s....it is just soul destroying to be told by my N mother-in-law, who has declared herself a Prophetess, "We just want to love you" when NOTHING they ever do shows "love" in any way recognisable to me.

So it is actually incredibly dis-orientating for me....and extremely good for me....to see you and LettingGo behaving in a way that IS motivated by ACTUAL LOVE from a Christian standpoint. I think in my mind the Ns in my life had sub-consciously made me think of religion generally as huge Red Flag. Something to use to bash people with and assert their moral superiority.

Your love for your little girl and your need to protect her shines through. And your wish for the truth to prevail. And that means a LOT to me.


Sorry to hi-jack this thread for a bit. But I just wanted to let you know that your post has had a quite profound effect quite by chance.

I have no experience in the kind of legal dispute you describe. Plus I am from the UK and I`m quite sure our laws would differ. But my instinct would be to collect up as much support from those who KNOW the Truth about these Ns, and just TURN UP THE VOLUME on the truth as much as you can. The truth is the truth. And lies do tend to hang themselves if you give them enough rope.

Love Jen

[betterdays]

Just keep fighting for yourself and your child.  There is no other option.

[LettingGo]

  Got it ILoveMyHnD. You can also send me a Private e-mail via WoN. When I was on my First Message Board I didn't even know that was possible. I am not a tech person. I will send ya an e-mail right now. 

[LettingGo]

This is important for me personally, and I just wanted to share with you why. I hope you don`t mind. My only close-up experience of Christians is my NHs family, who say they are Born-Again Christians and use this platform against me. They use it as the moral high ground. Now, although I have always known this is THEIR responsibility, and not Christianity`s....it is just soul destroying to be told by my N mother-in-law, who has declared herself a Prophetess, "We just want to love you" when NOTHING they ever do shows "love" in any way recognisable to me.

So it is actually incredibly dis-orientating for me....and extremely good for me....to see you and LettingGo behaving in a way that IS motivated by ACTUAL LOVE from a Christian standpoint. I think in my mind the Ns in my life had sub-consciously made me think of religion generally as huge Red Flag. Something to use to bash people with and assert their moral superiority.~JennyWren

ILoveMyHnD, you stepped out on Faith and you touched a Person's Life. And I am sure there is also others you touch that are not ready to post quite yet.

JennyWren, thank you so much for what you said. Many People take on the Title of Christian and can talk the talk, but do not walk the walk, I refer to these People as Counterfeit Christians, I too have been deeply hurt by their kind. Some Christians the Amazing Christians walk With Christ, others Follow Christ and others are miles back from Christ that they lose sight of Christ. So how can you tell the Amazing Christians from the Counterfeits? Unfortunately there are no obvious physical signs -- wish there were! But if you take a close look at their Behavior it will reveal their True Identity or at least their position with Christ (how close or how far away). With this Certain Christian is s/he reaching out or moving toward you with Condemnation or Compassion? God's Word teaches us that With Christ or In Christ there is no more Condemnation. When I see a Christian moving or responding in Condemnation towards someone else I know s/he is not walking With Christ and is Miles Behind. Christ's Love is Amazing and it is Transforming, but the Person must be willing to allow God to Transform him/her. I assure you, the following I know to be True, and I would stake my very Life on the Validity of it, Jesus did not die for a Religion. Jesus does Not want a Religion from us, but a Relationship With us. Salvation is only one Great Gift that comes from a Relationship WITH Christ, there are many others. Our Salvation and our Personal Relationship w/Jesus is not based on anything that we have done (either Good or Bad).

We can not earn God's Love. God's Love is FREELY Given. God is the Holy Parent who gives us His/Her Perfect & Unconditional Love. Even God's Law is not God's Love. The Law is to Help us and to Guide us, as we would want the Best for our own Child, but if our Child breaks a Rule or the Law, Does that mean we stop Loving our Child? No. Same with God. God loves us even MORE than we love our own Children (that blows my Mind, Heals my Soul, and sets my Spirit Soaring  ). When we break a Rule, make a Mistake, and Sin, our Holy Parent wants us to Learn from our Mistakes, to have Remorse, and Change/Repent, be Forgiven and not be Condemned.

For me Self-Condemnation is one of the hardest battles I struggle with. God has Forgiven me, so I need to Forgive myself. I was raised by a Momster, who told me I was Lesser Than, Nothing I ever did was Good Enough and I constantly strived for Perfection in order to be Loved and Valued. However, the Lord has taught me and it was recently confirmed here at WoN that our Life is about Progression not Perfection. As we want the very Best for our Child, so does God for his Child (each of us). God is Perfect. God is our Parent. We are God's Child and we are Not expected to be the Parent because we are God's Child, thus we are Not expected to be Perfect. We are expected to Learn by our Mistakes, which is what Ns do not do, because they lack Empathy and Remorse. Ns need to maintain their false sense of Superiority at our cost, which means they enjoy hurting others, and when we are are feeling our worst they are feeling their best. To Ns, being Evil feels Good. Ns can not connect with God because in their twisted pathological minds they think they are God and everything (even the horrible hurtful things) they do is justified. Ns are unchanging/unrepentant beings who enjoy hurting others and there is not any Sun/Son Proof to protect them from their Very Much Earned Consequence of Eternal Damnation. 

[ILoveMyHnD]

Jen,

Thank you for your encouragent. I'm sorry to hear that you are being manipulated by your N family the way that you are. Unfortunately there are  ( looks like a devil to me ) that disguise themselves as  and from my experience N's are very good candidates for the position. I did not grow up being taken to Church or having a relationship with God and it was not until last year that my N parents started going. I can totally relate how you describe your inlaws to how my N parents are acting now. My attorney actually made the comment "since both parties are good Christian people".....referring to my parents as well. I HOPE and pray for him to have clarity of mind about that if he was serious. By the way, thank you for letting me know how you felt about my thread. If nothing else, for you to express that, I am glad that I posted it. I didnt know if i felt led to post because someone like lettinggo was going to help me or if it were for someone else to read. You did not interrupt at all and if there is anything else, feel free to post. There are poor representatives from every group of people....muslims, christians, atheist, agnostic, hindu, buddhist, etc...Im glad that you are wise enough to see that your inlaws may be simply misrepresenting. There is a difference between misrepresenting and imperfect...and by no means are Christians perfect, just called to Love God, Love People and Share it with others...

              Its been a blessing to hear from you...TRULY...and I dont believe its by chance...There is a purpose for everything....Even us enduring these terrible N's!

                                                                  Thank you so much, once again. 

[ILoveMyHnD]

LettingGo...

I cannot use the personal messages part of this forum for some reason. Ive tried before....Im not tech savy but I usually find my way around pretty well.

thanks for trying...

[LettingGo]

The WoN Messages are under the Envelope Icon Button. And that should take you to your personal e-mail account, then to the left there is a section in small type that says New Messages. I don't know if you have to have a certain about of posts before you can use the Message System? You could ask CZ to try and figure out what is wrong w/your WoN e-mail.

Do you have the Envelope Icon Button at the top?

[CZBZ]

Private Messaging is unavailable as a 'newbie'. The feature is available when members reach Survivor status.

The envelope on the list, will show YOUR email address to yourself. You cannot see anyone else's email address unless they selected PUBLIC display. That can be confusing to people and it's the same way with Profiles. You can see your own profile but you cannot see member's profiles. Our forum is set up this way to protect you from spammers.

If newbies could send messages, y'all would wake up with porn ads in your private messages. I do my best keeping spammers off our site but each time we update our forums to outsmart the spammers, they figure a way around the update. AT this point, I delete or ban several spammers per day. It's a true nightmare for forum managers. Long explanation but hey, now everybody knows why private messaging requires a minimum number of REAL posts. Not Ads.

Hugs,
CZ

[ILoveMyHnD]

For me Self-Condemnation is one of the hardest battles I struggle with. God has Forgiven me, so I need to Forgive myself. I was raised by a Momster, who told me I was Lesser Than, Nothing I ever did was Good Enough and I constantly strived for Perfection in order to be Loved and Valued. However, the Lord has taught me and it was recently confirmed here at WoN that our Life is about Progression not Perfection. As we want the very Best for our Child, so does God for his Child (each of us). God is Perfect. God is our Parent. We are God's Child and we are Not expected to be the Parent because we are God's Child, thus we are Not expected to be Perfect. We are expected to Learn by our Mistakes, which is what Ns do not do, because they lack Empathy and Remorse. Ns need to maintain their false sense of Superiority at our cost, which means they enjoy hurting others, and when we are are feeling our worst they are feeling their best. To Ns, being Evil feels Good. Ns can not connect with God because in their twisted pathological minds they think they are God and everything (even the horrible hurtful things) they do is justified. Ns are unchanging/unrepentant beings who enjoy hurting others and there is not any Sun/Son Proof to protect them from their Very Much Earned Consequence of Eternal Damnation. 

Lettingo....I couldnt relate more than to what you said above. Im sure that most children of N's feel this way in some sort of fashion. Fortunately there is healing for God's children. My healing came this week...Im going to post separately..Just wanted you to know how "real" what you said above is.

[LettingGo]

ILoveMyHnD, I am happy to hear that what I said was helpful. 
I also sent you an e-mail, so I don't know if you got it.

[ILoveMyHnD]

Just wanted to update.

The mediation was supposed to take place today.

Thank you sooooo much for your prayers.

Yesterday, my attorney called and said that the Nbirthgiver and Nfather (yes, lettingGo...I accepted that as well this week) were not intervening in the case.
I do not know the details. I was actually too overwhelmed that I could hardly speak. If you know N's, they don't willingly stop...so regardless of WHY...its a God given miracle of a gift. From what I know, they would have had to motion to intervene and a judge would either deny or allow. There is a chance that it was just a simple "God said so" so they didnt kind of thing. If my parents were normal it would not require a miracle to stop them from persuing what they want....My DD.

So, the great news is that because they didn't intervene, the opposing attorney called my attorney and said that there would be no need for mediation. This proved that it was not about my daughter's father getting visitation, rather, for the N's to persue grandparents rights. God is good though. N's are powerful and manipulating IN THEIR OWN WORLD but NOT IN GOD'S realm.

The icing on the cake is that 3 weeks ago in court, my Ex signed an agreement that "until mediation Nbirthgiver would not be present during his visitation with my daughter"... That is the official order until he takes me to court. As of now, he has the visitation time that he asked for. Three weeks ago I said "If this could just be the permanent order that would be great".....With him having the visitation time that he asked for, he has no reason to take me to court. If he did, they would also have to explain why they canceled mediation that THEY requested.   I give God all the Glory and Praise and am so thankful. Thanks to lettingGo for your encouragement and "warning"... Youre definitely a vessel that God is using to deliver goodness to others!

[LettingGo]

   Praise to God!  I just LOVE a Great Praise Report. Miracle indeed! For sure! I am in complete agreement. Ns love to fight, that would have been a huge amount of NS supply for them and on stop of that if they got any visitation that would have been the prize they were after.

Knowing the mind of a N (because I have studied it for the past 20 years and have been exposed to it for 40) w/out a doubt I know the Ns did not back down out of any empathy for you or your DD. It was about Public Image. How does it look for them self-titled Christians to be taking their DD to court. God worked it to your favor for sure girlfriend! I am praying that you don't fall for projecting any of your humanity onto them, and give them visitation, because what will happen is that they will use that to their advantage in the future. You must not waiver.

The icing on the cake is that 3 weeks ago in court, my Ex signed an agreement that "until mediation Nbirthgiver would not be present during his visitation with my daughter"... That is the official order until he takes me to court.

  Yum!

Nbirthgiver and Nfather (yes, lettingGo...I accepted that as well this week)

  I know that was not easy to do my Friend. It took me 20 years to accept that my Nsibs were Ns and not just Selfish Sisters. I tell ya I was the Queen of Excuses that painted them as the Damaged Sisters that I had to rescue from the Momster's & Demon Dad's KoNs. I know you must have mixed emotions from your Victory w/the Court (there is favor when you go into God's court before you go into Man's). I do not know why some have favor and others do not, that is only something God can explain, but I do rejoice in your Victory ILoveMyHnD. Celebrate this Victory w/your FOC. There will be time to deal w/the New Revelation about NF, but now is the Time for Celebration.

Thanks to lettingGo for your encouragement and "warning"... Youre definitely a vessel that God is using to deliver goodness to others!

To God be the Glory. I always pray that I don't Mess up the Message. ILoveMyHnD Healing like Love is a two way street, when you send it forward it always comes back, so ILoveMyHnD you are Blessing me too.  

[ILoveMyHnD]

I wanted to reply real quick to LettingGo...

YEs....all Glory to God. I do not understand why some get favor and others dont. I had came to the acceptance that I too would not get favor. 10 years Ago my sister didnt when my Nbirthgiver threatened to kill her. She was asked to drop the charges and agree in mediation to just not have contact with Nbirthgiver. It was victory to not have anything to do with her, but not for justice. She however feels victory in knowing that her neice is now protected from the Nbirthgiver.

We are really excited and actually received the official copy of the Custody Order signed by the judge saying that Nbirthgiver will not be present during Nx's visitation. That was really exhillerating to receive as well.

As far as the Ndad... Im not so torn. It was liberating to accept it. It all fell into the plan this week. It feels like everything that came to surface in the past year was validated by receiving the call that they would not be intervening. I talked to NORMAL Ndad's mother today. She called to tell me about a Dr. Phil show she watched today about absent fathers. She said that she knew that him not being around when we were kids was hurtful. She loves her son, but i believe that she treats him with tough love when they do talk. I was not allowed to have a relationship with her due to my nbirthgiver claiming that she (grandma) was schizophrenic, OCD, and that she claimed to kill us when we were young kids. None of this is true. My ndad also has to hide his relationship with his mother from his Nwife. But he doesnt see that nbirthgiver has ruined his relationship with his mother, 2 daughters, his brother, and his sister...and in return that he is fine with that.

Thanks again for listening and best wishes and prayers for you all. Im so thankful for your agreement and prayers in this matter. Prayers REALLY do work.  To all!!!!

[LettingGo]

We are really excited and actually received the official copy of the Custody Order signed by the judge saying that Nbirthgiver will not be present during Nx's visitation. That was really exhillerating to receive as well.

That is Great News.

ILoveMyHnD, the Momster always said that her own Mother was a Monster to her, but there was never any proof of that. Of course we wanted to believe the lie, because then that would give us an Excuse for the Abuse. The Momster's Mom was not a nurturing type (not like the rest of  us), but she was not mean. The thing about Nparents is that they are Pathological Liars and you can't trust a word they say.

My ndad also has to hide his relationship with his mother from his Nwife. But he doesnt see that nbirthgiver has ruined his relationship with his mother, 2 daughters, his brother, and his sister...and in return that he is fine with that.

You just mean that as a figure of speach right? They have eyes, they see, they just don't care and that is the part we don't want to see. It is very hard for us to see that and accept that they just don't care. The Super-Sized N is more important than anyone else, even those who have loved and supported them and don't use them. The lower level N will hold on to the Super-Sized Ns no matter the cost. I know I don't have to tell ya that, because like me you have experienced it.

[ILoveMyHnD]

LettingGo,

Yes, I meant that as figure of speech. I didnt say it clearly. My sister and I know that he "knows" he just doesnt care to acknowledge it and act on it. My sister describes him as a band-aid man....Just cover it up and keep going. Thats what he does for Nbirthgiver...covers it up and never acknowledges it again.

Are you still in contact with your Nfamily?

I was reading other peoples posts earlier and noticed some entire families of N's and even extended N families connected to N families. My sister and I were talking and made a connection...Our younger 24y/o (possibly n?) "goldenchild" brother is in a 3 year relationship with HIGH potential/possibility Ngirlfriend who is the daughter of (from what Ive heard the description of) another Nmom. There is what sounds like a scapegoat sister. The potential for absolute crazieness exists if my brother marries her and they have a child with both of them having Nmoms. Its neither here nor there for my sister and I now that we have freedom from them. We were just discussing where nbirthgiver will project her negative energies and get her Nsupply from now that we are disconnected from her. Im so grateful, thankful and appreciative of what God has done for my sister, myself and our FOC's. I have so much empathy and sympathy for thoses on this forum who have not YET gained the freedom that I know I now have.

Eventually I feel that God will use me to help others through the same thing that he has freed me from. He definitely used my sister and you in the same way to help me. If I havent said it....THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for being God's hands!!

 

[LettingGo]

 "the band-aid man" Just cover it up and keep going. Thats what he does for Nbirthgiver...covers it up and never acknowledges it again. ~ ILoveMyHnD

Yes they are handing us band-aids for the deep Soul Wounds that they caused directly or indirectly by not doing anything about it.

Are you still in contact with your Nfamily? ~ ILoveMyHnD

Demon Dad - No Contact for 14 years.

Momster - No Contact for 2 years this Aug.

Nsis #1 - No Contact 1 year ago this Feb.

Nsis#2 - No Contact Since Jan. (she has been calling asking, What's Wrong. It was many messages, via land line, cell and text, but this week it stopped.)

Demon Dad's half Bro. (my Normal Uncle) and his Wife, My Aunt and their kids, my cousins, I have some contact w/them, my oldest Cousin I keep in contact on a reg. basis. There is no contact w/any one else from the Demon Dad's side of the Family.

Momster's side of the Family - my Grandfather is in Heaven, and I haven't talked to my Grandmother (issues w/her SoniL who hurt me as a Child so I don't talk to my Aunt either). There is No Contact from anyone else from the Momster's side of the Family, the Momster ruined all of that.

The Momster had a best friend, who was better than her own Sister to her, did so many things for the Momster and us girls growing up, so we call her Auntie M. They were friends for 30 yrs then the Momster destroyed that, but I still have semi regular contact w/her. She is a self-admitted the glass is half empty kind of person, kind of like Eeyore, a lot of cloudy days, that is how she and the Momster bonded, she is not as gloomy as she use to be.

Golden Child bro and a Ngirlfriend, yikes the odds are against their offspring, but hey Good thing God doesn't care about Stats. At least they will have you and your Sister to show them what Normal looks like.

The Freedom is great and Life is Wonderful when you don't have to stress out about how the N is going to behave, no more choas, no more drama, no more FOG & Gaslighting, no more second guessing, no more new wounds, no more reminders that they don't love us. I want you to enjoy how you can fully breath, peaceful sleep, no more toxic messages to wake up to in the morning, and the extra time you have that you are not wasting worrying about the Ns. I don't know if it will happen to you, but I don't want you to be caught off guard, there is a grieving over the loss of what can not be. I refer to it as Grieving the Illusion of who we wanted the Ns to be and who they pretend to be, Grieving what can not be. I don't want you to be unprepared. It is not a loss of who the Ns actually are, but who they should have been, imperfect Normal Loving Parents. Not having a Loving Parent sucks, but right now you are just enjoying the Freedom of Escaping the KoN, so take it in and please do not let my warning ruin that in any way. This is your time for Celebration for so many reasons. If the Enemy tries to steal your joy and you want someone to talk to and help you Battle him, you know where to find me and I will bring my Sword and Shield. You celebrate. You are Changing not only your Life, your DH's and DD's, but also the lives of your decendants. Many more great things are going to be revealed to you, and I hope you will keep us posted.

Eventually I feel that God will use me to help others through the same thing that he has freed me from. He definitely used my sister and you in the same way to help me.

The Wisdom we gain in the Healing Process is meant to Share It Forward. I know you are going to Change lives and help set the Captives free of the KoN. There are also other Unique Gifts that you may not even be aware of right now that are inside of you. I am so EXCITED for ya.

If I havent said it....THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for being God's hands!!

You are Welcome and you are Worth It. God is Love and Love is Healing. It is so easy to Love others. It is only evil beings who choose to hurt instead of help. Who thrive on hurting others when helping/loving is much more Powerful. Stupid Reprobates aka Ns & Ps.

ILoveMyHnD you can now expand your Family through Love instead of Biology. Biology is so very limited. If we don't limit God, then we can achieve a Fulness of Life and even an Abundance. The Enemy will tell us what we don't have & create Fear and God will show us what we do have and what is possible.

[ILoveMyHnD]

Nbirthgiver went to Nex's house today. He claims that she called first and he told her that she couldnt come because it would get him in trouble. There is a court order saying that nbirthgiver cannot be present during his visitation with our daugther. She showed up anyway and was able to see our daughter. I asked him how he felt about the fact that she doesnt mind getting him in trouble. This is technically him in contempt of court now that he allowed this to take place. He still doesnt seem to get it that she will do anything she can to get her way, including get him in trouble with the law. I spoke with his mother who witnessed nbirthgiver having contact with my daughter...she was focused on making sure that I dont get her son in trouble by telling my attorney. Go figure. Court order in place and the master self-righeous Nbirthgiver is still breaking the rules.

[Legs]

Hahahahahaah! That's makes me laugh in a sick, twisted, disgusted kind of way. I spent over a year and a half being astounded by the number of times and the different ways Lucifer broke and ignored court orders and direct orders "right out of their mouths" of two different judges. It was amazing. And revolting. And stunning. Just add it to your list.


Legs, still amazed at the so-called judicial system in West Texas and not sure at all that God wants someone to read this.....jus' sayin

[LettingGo]

Nbirthgiver went to Nex's house today. ~ ILoveMyHnD

If you had any Doubt about the Nbirthgiver being a N, well here is more proof that she doesn't even respect the Judge's decison and Court Rulings.

ILoveMyHnD as with all decisions, pray about it. If it were me, I would try and get your exMiL on your side by saying see how devious the Nbirthgiver is and doesn't care about your Son's welfare and getting him in trouble w/the Law. Get her to write that out, that she doesn't feel it was her Son's fault, the Nbirthgiver is very devious & manipulate, used her Son to feel sorry for her, and tell her that you want to show the Judge how the Nbirthgiver is defying the Court Order. You tell exMiL that she must do it in order to protect her Son and show the Judge that Nbirthgiver is in Contempt of Court and to protect her Son, because it will empower him to turn away the Nbirthgiver the next time she tries to use him to break the Court Order. This way the Judge can go after the Nbirthgiver.  Now hopefully the Judge is Smart and can also see that your ex had a choice to make as well. He could have turned away the Nbirthgiver, never let her in his house, tell her that she was breaking the Court Order and putting both of them in Trouble w/the Law. Personally I would not let this go as your MIL and EX wants you to. They want you to cover for them, to compromise, and when Ns get you to compromise and do a favor for them, you and your DD will pay the price. They will come back and say you knew that Nbirthgiver came over and was in violation of the order and you did nothing about it, you did not report her, so obviously you didn't see any harm being done either, then the next Judge can change the Court Order, since everyone is Friendly w/each other and you don't care that Nbirthgiver has contact w/your DD. If you let this go it will come back to bite ya.   Watch out that the Ns don't use your Faith against you and make you feel bad for not giving them Grace. Christ told us to respect the Law of the Land even when we thought it was not fair, "give to Ceasar what is Ceasars", pay your taxes, follow the Law. Nbirthgiver & the Ex have no respect for the Law or for you. That order was made to respect your concerns for you DD. It was placed there to support you. However, the Law choses to punish the Ex or Nbirthgiver for breaking the Law is between the Law and them. You can not cover for them or you are in violation of the Law that you wanted. Given the stats on Ns getting away w/at most a slap on the wrist for breaking Court Orders, you can assure your ExMiL that she does not worry about some harsh punishment, a warning is most likily all that her son will get. Nbirthgiver was the one who came over to his house, he didn't bring DD to the Nbirthgiver's house or meet her somewhere. You need your exMiL to show that to the court through her written testimony that her Son did not go to the Nbirthgiver house. Remember, the enemy of my enemy is my Friend. Try and get exMiL on your side by seeing Nbirthgiver is to blame, and that her son was just being used by Nbirthgiver.

You did not do all that hard work and battle to get the Court Order in place just so that others would ignore it. You need to had this situation to the List like Legs said, build the case against Nbirthgiver, and hopefully the Judge will see how the ex is weak when it comes to standing up to the Nbirthgiver. He is definitely N-chanted by the Nbirthgiver that he would put his own visitation w/DD in jeapordy by violating the Order. As a Mom I would have concern that ex doesn't have the ability to do what is in your DD best interest, and it might get worse, espcially if you "just let this go". Remember your ex's mistake does not need to cause you to make a mistake you will regret. Your days of covering for him are over. He needs to pay the consequence for his actions as does the Nbirthgiver. Do not let them guilt you and manipulate you into allowing them to get away w/breaking the Law. It is on them not you. Again, get exMiL on your side if she really wants to protect her son against the Nbirthgiver she needs to state how Nbirthgiver came to her son's house and not vise versa.

Again, pray about what you should do, and don't rely on my word, but Gods.  

[ILoveMyHnD]

LettingGo,

I contacted my attny yesterday to let him know. There was NO way that I would NOT tell him. I did not feel any pressure to cover for the Ex. I told his mother to pray about whats really going on because God has already shown me what to do. She said that she had already thought about the fact that Nbirthgiver didnt care about getting her son in trouble. She still relates to another grandmother who "just wants to see her grandchild". Its pointless to explain anymore to her than "you are not the same as her". I doubt that I would be able to get her to write anything out, however, she will definitely be summoned to court if necessary. She is not the type to lie what-so-ever. I feel that Ex is not going to either. He is going to have to defend himself to his attorney which will demonstrate that he no longer has confidence in Nbirthgiver. He's going to have to hang himself or her....we know what the outcome of that is. The N vs N starts here. What appauls me is how there is no use in Judges orders when being in contempt of an order means a slap on the wrist "dont do this again". Why even bother with an order? I know the real answer,...just a little frustration. I have confidence in only THE LORD....not the law at this point. We'll see what he is doing soon enough. Hopefully hanging some N's in their own filth.

[ILoveMyHnD]

Legs,

Not quite sure what you mean by "not sure at all that God wants someone to read this"...that was the original title....definitely not for the last post. Just sayin...