Destructive Narcissistic Patterns by Nina Brown

[CZBZ]

Destructive Narcissistic Patterns: DNP

http://www.wmeades.com/id211.htm

"Destructive narcissism is defined as a pattern of behaviors and attitudes reflective of pathological narcissism but the behaviors and attitudes are fewer and/or less intense. Nevertheless, these behaviors and attitudes are troubling to others who are in a relationship with this person and/or have to interact with the person on a regular basis. The pattern of behaviors and attitudes are such that others experience considerable frustration, anger and feelings of incompetence; these individuals are blamed, criticized, devalued and demeaned in their relationships and/or interactions with the person suffering from a DNP. Destructive narcissism is a cluster of behaviors and attitudes — not just one or two distressing behaviors or attitudes. It is through your reactions to the person over time, which is validated by others who have similar reactions, that you can begin to identify someone with a destructive narcissistic pattern."

http://www.newharbinger.com/client/client_images/NHpdfs/LovingtheSelfAbsorbed.pdf

"Researchers have discovered that a staggering five million americans have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and as many as ten million suffer from a less-severe form called the Destructive Narcissistic Pattern (DNP). Partners of those who suffer from either condition can feel like a healthy relationship is impossible. In Loving the Self-Absorbed, Nina Brown assures them it is not and gives them the skills they need to get more from their partners and overcome the challenges that these conditions engender."

http://www.greenwood.com/catalog/C6017.aspx

"The destructive narcissistic pattern (DNP) is a term used to describe a constellation of characteristics generally associated with pathological narcissism, but which are fewer and less severe. Nonetheless, these characteristics negatively impact relationships. The destructive narcisist's typical interaction produces negative reactions in others. For example, the individual devalues others, lacks empathy, has a sense of entitlement, and is emotionally shallow. He may function very well and be successful economically, but is unable to form and maintain stable relationships, as evidenced by numerous partners or marriages. The DNP, Brown asserts, is often unrecognized. Although others may find him frustrating and difficult, the individual with DNP can be charming when charm is perceived to be to his benefit."

"In addition to identifying destructive narcissism, Brown provides strategies to help the reader moderate or eliminate the impact of these destructive narcissistic behaviors, feelings, and attitudes. Attention is given to understanding projection, projective identification, and identification as well as how those processes trigger reactions. This book will be an important tool for counselors, psychologists, clinical social workers, and other mental health professionals, and students in these fields." ~Synopsis of Nina Brown's book, Destructive Narcissistic Patterns

[Liberty]

[CZBZ]

Thanks, Liberty. Nina Brown offered us a way to learn about narcissism without leaping to the psychopathic model described by most Internet groups. Yes, there are psychopathic-narcissistic-malignant narcissists who rip through people's lives and leave them bleeding. They usually 'out' their callous hearts to other people though. Their behavior is so over-the-top heartless and manipulative that they are easy to spot once they put their wicked plans into action.

Because Malignant Narcissists are obviously wicked, victims are more easily supported and validated by society, as having done nothing wrong to warrant victimization.

Not so for all those millions of us who were targeted, idealized, mistreated, dumped and discarded by people with Destructive Narcissistic Patterns. We often minimize their behavior and the impact their behavior has on others. We also give these Ns the 'benefit of the doubt' because they are NOT over-the-top narcissistic. But never doubt that underneath their ego defenses is a callous human being who will do whatever he or she must, to protect themselves from the TRUTH about themselves.

The real issue people have is underestimating the destructive impact of unhealthy narcissism...we see it and automatically minimize the danger we're in. You can never let down your guard with someone displaying Destructive Narcissistic Patterns and in my experience, you must never 'assume' those patterns are being altered through therapy. In my experience, more than one therapist becomes the N's proxy because they underestimate their N-client and without realizing it, See what they Expect to See. Therapists also, just like the rest of us, want to feel valued and affective. They (and we) are looking for positive signs that our support is effective. We will see what the N wants us to see.

Though I believe, as Brown suggests, that some Ns are able to change, I'd like to see LONG TERM research results of that. Really. I would. The closest research I've come across was done by Elsa Ronningstam and she based her research on a three-year study. Three years??????  Who in the world would invest their entire life in a relationship that might only last three years? Ns change...yes. They often change for the worst.


Hugs,
CZ

[Freezer Burned]

Would DNP be synonymous with "Garden Variety N"?

[CZBZ]

"Would DNP be synonymous with "Garden Variety N"?"

GREAT Question, Freezerburned! It appears people ARE using Brown's DNP label to describe the 'garden variety narcissist' but this does not fit with my usage. On WoN, 'garden variety narcissist' refers to NPD; i.e.: the 'subject' meets five of the nine criteria as currently listed in the DSM-IV thus qualifying them for a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The Garden Variety Narcissist is describing someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

The malignant (psychopathic) narcissist is a variant of the NPD, akin to an extreme narcissist with a malicious and sadistic mentality, lacking conscience, and more predatory in nature than the Garden Variety NPD.

If someone does NOT meet five of the nine criteria in the DSM-IV even though  narcissistic behaviors are rigid (resistant to change), then Brown's description of the DNP applies. As Brown has written, even one RIGID narcissistic trait damages relationships. Before Nina Brown's attempt to describe a lesser-degree of narcissism (DNP) than the clinical NPD diagnosis, people were either Ns or they weren't Ns according to clinical categorization. Brown allowed people to use the term "Narcissist" more broadly.

Currenly, social psychologists like Keith Campbell have given us layfolk permission to call someone a narcissist IF they have a high score on the NPI. These folks are not clinical narcissists (a personality disorder) but their narcissism is notably significant and interferes with relationships. Nice of psychologists to let us use the word narcissist, isn't it?   BUT, someone who scores high on the NPI (Narcissistic Personality Inventory) and has a lifelong pattern of narcissistic behaviors, is NOT a 'Garden Variety Narcissist'.

Garden Variety Narcissism refers to the NPD (clinical criteria) without meeting additional criteria for an antisocial personality which includes psychopathic characteristics. This is my understanding and I welcome other people's opinion, too!



Hugs,
CZ