Chat thread: whatever you wanna say or talk about (non-N related)

[Imogene]

Whoa, check out the emoticons!

The statement "Everything turns out for the best" is patently absurd.  It reminds me of when the locusts come to Plum Creek and eat the wheat crop Pa has mortgaged to pay for essentially everything they have, and Ma watches the chickens eating the locusts and finds that something to be thankful for.  I guess she needed that much optimism to put up with a man who would leave her alone with the girls all winter in the surveyor's house to be raped or on the reservation to be scalped and who would pull up stakes anytime she developed the first shred of a social tie or sense of security. 

[JennyWren]

Let us not forget...dear friends...the epically cheery stance of Polly-flippin-Anna......

"Oh dear me......my legs have fallen off... and a giant tsunami has washed away my home ...and a meteorite is about to wipe out life as we know it....but I`M GLAD ABOUT THAT...because now I shall not have to do the ironing."

Vomit city!

Yes, absolutely we are obliged to make the best of the stuff that comes our way...it`s all we can do. But AAARK...no! This was not all "Meant to be" for some greater good. And I refuse to be "glad about that!"

[Legs]

I still think the craziest thing anyone has told me is that someday I will look and thank Lucifer for what he did to me. Nope. Ain't gonna happen. I am glad I found out now rather than when I'm 70 and took care of his nasty old arse for another second..also before he gave me a disease or gave all the money away.

I will never be grateful to him for what he did to me even though everyone also keeps telling me that's it's not about me...I could have been anyone, only I wasn't. I was me. And I'm never going to be happy about any of it except for the part where everyone in his life finally gets to see the truth of what happened.

And I still don't get the part about how being loving and faithful results in being treated like a piece of shite by husband, lawyers, judges and friends.

 feeling very bitter and sour as a lemon today and hating pretty much everything but I did get a cleaner house today because I had a little burst of energy

[Imogene]

Ugh.  I was going to clean my house today.  I went through papers for a couple hours and got really depressed instead.

[Legs]

looking at all that paper stuff makes me crazy too..all the wasted money on the divorce and then when I catch sight of that stack of filthy emails between Lucifer and his women, it just makes me sick. Sick to even think about what happened.

I can't get rid of it yet because of the appeal and the "coming out" party for Lucifer and his married w*****.

[betterdays]

"

I will never be grateful to him for what he did to me even though everyone also keeps telling me that's it's not about me...I could have been anyone, only I wasn't. I was me." -Legs


If you replace narcissism with Vietnam, or polio, or  famine, let's see how that  gratitude-to-the-disaster line of thinking plays out:

We went to Nam, we lost our legs, were exposed to Agent Orange, and were so psychologically damaged we cannot function normally.  We can't feel normal in a crowd, we can't seem to trust another human, and we have panic attacks and nightmares. Not to mention the whole wheelchair thing. We should feel grateful to the circumstances that led us there and to the institutions and people who damaged us?????

I think that the idea that things work out for the best is along the lines of The Secret, or The Money Prayer.  If it makes some people feel better, then go with it, but don't push it off on others. 

There is much to be said for being grateful for what you like in your life, and for the good that does come your way, but spare me the argument that I should ever be grateful for the equivalent of war in my life.

[Legs]

Thanks Chix, for your unwavering support even when I am a rotten apple floating in my own nasty juices at the bottom of the barrel. It's so REALLY GREAT to be able to say whatever downer thing I'm feeling and not have my friends (in real life) all tell me to look on the bright side and all the other things they keep telling me. I believe they are just trying ot get me though this bad time and I do believe they think someday I will be my old happy-go-lucky considerate, caring and funny person that I was for 57 years. Anyway, that's not what I came here to say..I am read inf this article and I dunno if someone has already posted it in another category, or if it's even relevant here, but here it is:

>http://preview.tinyurl.com/5saw9aj
[Open in new window] I never knew one thing about the DSM or whatever you call it before I went online in November of 2008 attempting to find out WTF happened to my life.

[notakennedy]

Just picked up on SydneyFireworks thread about weight gain .... I agree that the metabolism certainly starts to slow up with menopause so even those of us luckily blessed with a high metabolism and who have traded on that fact most of our lives, are suddenly face to face with a few extra kilos.  Luckily I'm perfectly comfortable with lentils .....!  Honestly though, keeping active is the key (health issues notwithstanding of course). If hard-out exercise is too difficult, what about pilates or yoga?  You can adapt yoga to suit and there's no competition.  It doesn't make the kilos melt off, but gradually with practice it starts to change the body, there's no doubt. And it shouldn't stress joints like higher impact exercise will.  A good yoga teacher is going to ask you if you have any particular health issues and should be tailoring it to suit you. 

Also, it's not so much what we eat, but how we eat it .. like cutting out meals means the body is more likely to try to hold on to calories, not use them, so eating 5 - 6 smaller meals per day is probably going to be burned up more effectively.  And no carbs later in the day when your body just doesn't need them at all.

Okay, I'm a vegetarian health nut, I know it, but I'm not self righteous about it.  But I have dropped those bloody annoying extra kilos since I started getting active again (I'm 53 by the way), but I've taken a much lower key approach to it than I might have done 10 years ago.  Happily I'm shedding the pounds while NH is getting pudgy round the middle ....  (I love this icon).  And the exercise is helping my state of mind big time, too ....

[SydneyFireworks]

Thanks for those ideas, notakennedy!  I wish I was perfectly comfortable with lentils,  but I dislike them almost as much as I dislike tofu.    I could, however, cope with eating baked beans a bit more often... would they be a reasonable substitute?  My knowledge of food groups / calories / nutritional values is hopeless because in the past it never mattered!

I'm really not doing very well with this weight loss thing.  I've started having something to eat as early in the day as my stomach will accept - usually a couple of Ryvita's at around 11am.  Unfortunately it's almost impossible to eat them without lashings of butter (well, olive oil based margarine).  Would avocado be a good substitute - love avo's! 

After my 11am  Ryvita 'breakfast' I don't feel even remotely hungry again until around 5pm and if I eat anything more than a handful of nuts I really can't face the thought of dinner.

So really all I'm eating each day is a couple of Ryvitas with marge maybe topped with a few slices of cucumber or some Vegemite, a handful of cashews, and a normal dinner which might be fish or steak with a couple of veggies.  Or Japanese takeway - sashimi and sushi.  I'll have to get on the net to find out what food is carbs so I can avoid having them for dinner.

Oh, and of course a few squares of chocolate - which I always have after dinner (it's kinda my dessert and eat it even when I'm too full to consider eating anything else).

I'm trying also to drink more water - which I have to force down me during the day because I am simply not thirsty.  My natural thirst always occurs late in the evening, when I might drink three or four glasses within the space of an hour or so.

And now I weigh 2kgs (about 4 lbs) more than I did when I first made the post on this thread.   

I can definitely enquire about yoga - can people with vertigo cope with it?   I can't even stand on one leg with my eyes open, let alone closed!

I know I'm not trying as hard as I should be re exercise - it's just so much nicer (now that it's winter) to stay put in a warm room. 

Hugs
Syd

[Imogene]

Syd,

There's nothing wrong with what you are eating.  True, you could eat more vegetables, but you are not eating a lot of carbs--mostly protein, from what you describe.  Eating more small meals helps to regulate blood sugar which helps in the release of the hormones that assist in burning calories.  So that's the science behind it.  But French women manage to be very thin eating meals in much the same way you do--carbs early on, then the big meal of protein late.

Since you don't exercise, that has to be the key for you, because you are also not consuming that many calories a day (probably about 1500-1800).  Make no change whatsoever except for getting in a 30 minute walk each day for two weeks, and see if that makes any difference.  It would only equal 1/4 kilo worth of calories burned, but often exercise will boost metabolism in people who haven't been exercising, resulting in still more calories being burned. 

Yoga is great, but for beginners it doesn't burn calories, just improves posture and flexibility--which are very important, don't get me wrong.  I lift weights, which used to help keep my metabolism high before I, too, became impervious to weight loss (see my food diary).  I prefer weight lifting because it is easier.  You can get hand weights and bands and do a few simple exercises right at home.  It's not expensive, and you don't have to make an appearance at the gym.

Until my most recent attempt to lose weight, I would have not been able to empathize with gaining weight on very few calories.  Now I can.  It's very frustrating!       

[smp]

Yipee!! I have filed my motion with the court - my daughter (not a party to it) is serving copies to pigface's attorney.   =party=This means I may be able to collect for lost rent, cleanup of the property next door, replacement of the stove and pellet stove he took. Biggest plus - the divorce is back on calendar.  =thumbs up=Pigface's attorney went in in May, stating we had a full agreement and it no longer needed to be on calendar, just waiting for signatures (like in Jan and again, in March) - right after my attorney, at the time, sent him my version of an agreement. Once my attorney took her new job - she could no longer work for me, so I kinda just felt like I was in limbo - not now. And, after all the paperwork for it and the IRS audit, I have stored all the paperwork I had to go through for them into boxes and stuffed them in the closet - I don't have to be aware of the mounds of paperwork anymore - right now!!

I do believe all will work out okay - as long as I do the footwork. Do I really expect to get any money out of him, NO!! But it may encourage him to sign the darn papers. Of course, with the trust, if I win anything, I can put a lien on the trust! Not being religious at all - I do still believe God helps those who help themselves. It is my job to protect myself from predators. I am not grateful for any of this - I do not understand why bad things happen to good people, I just need to be willing to accept that sometimes it happens. What ever doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Character building, I keep telling people I am enough of a character -

I have great revenge daydreams - not dreaming at all at night - wonder why?

I have now heard ow is supposed to be leaving the limo company due to being afraid of the IRS - she has been the office manager for years. Supposedly pigface is "upset" over it Plus he is real concerned over losing the medical insurance from my employer. But, of course, this is what is is telling different people!! So who knows. I do know that even if ow leaves the limo company on paper - she will continue to work for him "cash and benefits." We went through that ordeal with the last one - I told both of them no or I would turn both of them in!!

I am still curious to learn which one of them throws the other "under the bus."

[CZBZ]

Wow, SMP! You get to watch from the sidelines now. Well, kinda. What just 'gets me' about your husbaNd is all the damn money he has and yet, he's worried about medical insurance? Just one limo would pay for years of coverage---what the hellk is his problem?

Okay, i know what his problem is BUT still!!

Hugs,
CZ

[smp]

CZ - I am so glad to  hear you say that too!! I have been completely baffled as to why he is such a cheapskate - makes no sense to me what so ever. Still cracks me up that he wanted me to support him 100%  in the fall of 09- that was when I told him to cut the beard and get a job. He always had an attitude that the trust money was "his" and he should be able to do whatever he wanted with it - and since he didn't really work for a living - I should support him on a teacher's salary!! Yeah, right!! I told him - "I will not support you." seemed pretty clear to me!!

[talia]

More info for Syd:

Chocolate milk beat out water, sports drinks and regular milk in a recent study of what is the best post-exercise drink for our bodies.

I found this on the internet, so of course it must be true!! Okay, so I did a little editing....

talia
 

[honeybearII]

Syd, it is about exercise.  Period.  I have ratcheted up my exercise this summer to speed walking 5 miles almost every day on the treadmill and cut out ALL refined sugar and voila!  30 pounds lost in 2-1/2 months.  I eat when I'm hungry, I eat very few carbs, and I feel so much healthier than I did when school let out in May.

Move it, woman!!  I can tell you that at almost-66 years old, if I can move these aging bones, you can do it, too.  And by the way?  It has been 90+ degrees all summer here!!  Even my basement is HOT!!! 
Honey

[lavender]

Calories in vs calories out...it is that simple, it just requires dedication which is my hurdle...Calorie King is a free website I have gained a lot of valuable info from.  They have an easy to use food and exercise diary that quickly shows you where you can improve.

I know at 47 weightloss is damned hard work , infact it's virtually impossible compared to my younger years...but the dog sure enjoys getting frequent walks and I am learning to like exercise.

[JennyWren]

Ohhhhhhh.....groaaaaan!

I really should stop EATING everything all the time. If I had a treadmill I would probably eat that.

I do burgle the kids chocolate milk....after I have walked all the way to the fridge.

[betterdays]

I really should stop EATING everything all the time. If I had a treadmill I would probably eat that.

 

[talia]

Thanks,lavender, for the Calorie King website ! Great info in the LearnAbouts section !

Hugs,
talia

[Freezer Burned]

I really should stop EATING everything all the time. If I had a treadmill I would probably eat that.

I'm an "eater" too, never could do the "just eat smaller portions" thing. Lately I've been doing the "could I make a better choice?" system I saw on some TV blip. No pressure, just every time I start thinking about a junk food or a high fat food, I pause and think "is there a better choice I can make this time . . . that would satisfy me?" and sometimes there is. Soooo, the other day I unearthed some shorts that used to be way too small to zip, and not only can I zip them up now . . . I can breathe in them and even wear them all day!!!

Another Hot Tip - Weight Watchers has modified their plan so that all fresh fruit is now Zero Points, they have taken the stance that not all calories are equal. Hurray for sanity - fresh fruit is not going to make anyone fat, it's what those skinny models eat during "fashion shoots", tables full of fresh fruit platters - and nothing else.

Another tip for "eaters", if you don't eat crunchy food, you will eat a lot more, so celery etc. is your friend. And I've started using a dollop of cottage cheese instead of salad dressing on salads, it has protein, not just fat Sometimes I put cottage cheese on celery instead of cream cheese (sometimes -  no pressure).

P.S. Trying to force myself to exercise doesn't work. I find that eating better gives me more energy and then I just start wanting to do more physical activities.

[smp]

Okay guys, I am getting really fed up - how in the heck do YOU get rid of gophers???

[betterdays]

The only two things that have ever worked for me were a hound that could dig faster than the gopher, and was dedcating her life to excavation, and unfortunately, gopher poison.  I made chicken wire cages for my plants in the last place we lived, but if the roots extend through the wire, they still eat them.  Now I see there are entry/no exit traps to place in the burrow, and I think those would be the way to go.  You don't have to poison the dogs, birds, and other predatory animals when you kill the gopher.

[JennyWren]

Aaaaaaahh! Gophers!!! Cute! I just googled them, coz we don`t suffer the little bazturds in the UK. We have moles....most of them are living under my lawn...and if I could catch them I would give them a piece of my mind...while dashing their little brains out.

Awwwww...I feel awful now. 

[talia]

Have you googled it, smp? I'm reading "blow" them up and "gas" them. Yowza! Then there's the gentler tip of sticking chewing gum in the holes..??

Ya, I have NO idea!
Good luck, though!!

[too_many]

I danced with (Where the Hell is?) Matt today.