Controversial topic- New Online Dating Service

[talia]

I watched the Anderson Cooper show yesterday. Did any of you happen to see this? The segment was about a new online dating service called

WhatsYourPrice.com

there are video clips to the right that explain the concept of the service

WhatsYourPrice.com is the only online dating website where money can buy you love- or at least a first date.

Based on our patent-pending dating system, WhatsYourPrice.com provides the platform for generous members to bid on a first date with attractive members. By offering a little incentive, attractive members are more inclined to take a risk on someone who isn’t their usual type, and if the date goes sour, at least they won’t be going home empty handed.

So, basically, men(and women) can bid to take someone out on a date. Yes, you can get paid to go on a date. It didn't take long for me to raise an eyebrow. Actually, it was more like  (hurl) after seeing "Michael". If you don't want to watch the whole video, fast forward to 13:54.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cmxLP69waT4

!


Supposedly, the owner of the site will delete Michael's membership as soliciting sex goes against the site's terms. So, what do ya'll think of this concept?

Is Michael an N or a perv,or both? Would you consider getting paid to go out on a date? Personally, I think it's another playing field for N's. Do you think your chances of encountering a Nut are more or less than other online dating services?

LOL...I'm asking a lot of questions. And hmmmm....Why would Michael be so upfront about his intentions on national TV? What narcissistic trait, if any, would you attribute to that? I can't help but think, I'd run if I ever saw him in LA. Maybe he thought this would attract women??

Interested in your thoughts and,particularly on Michael.

talia

[tango3]

So far I just watched the intro - and my first thought was "wow, isn't that prostitution?"

[Rosemary]

doNt trust michael hes dodgy deffinately 

I myself dont trust on line dating as i know its a big Nmeeting place ,they can have a field day a real ball on such sites

[daisyk9292]

HOOOOLLLLLY SHIZZZZZZZZZZ BATMAN!!!

That is it. I give up. It's the end of days. It just has to be. I never imagined anyone could beat Ashley Madison on the most pathetic and disgusting way to make a profit... actually I think they still hold the title. 

But WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO??

Ewwwwwwwwww. What is wrong with people??

YES IT'S PROSTITUTION FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!

I predict at some point a woman will be at the very least beaten and raped, and perhaps end up dead. I hope I'm wrong, but this seems like a recipe for disaster.

[MoreMyself]

The men interviewed seemed socially awkward as opposed to being Ns.  They've probably been rejected a lot and this site allows them interaction with the opposite sex - at a price.  I actually felt sorry for the two men that were interviewed.  I'm not sure if I agree that it would attract Ns.  The Ns I have known believe that are extremely attractive to the opposite sex and the idea that they have to pay for sex (or female company) challenges their belief in themselves as studs. 

It's prostitution in another form.  The website owner has worked out a way to get around prostitution laws which is quite clever.  I would imagine that a lot of the female clients are prostitutes and this website just does their advertising for them, because the website owner says that the attractive people don't have to pay - they are the ones being bid on.  I'd be surprised if this market space is big enough to keep expanding like the other dating websites that do psychologically profiling and claim to match you to the right person. 

I went on the dating websites and only lasted a month.  My first reaction was yuck with all the weird types who immediately hit on you (clearly seeking sex with anything that moves).  When I did chat with a few possibilities, it just seemed like hard work and without being face to face it was hard to judge who they really were.  Plus anyone who talked to me was 70 or over.  The men all want women 10 years or more younger and I don't want to become an old guy's nursemaid.   Overall I just couldn't be bothered. 

[talia]

Geez, Daisy! I've never heard of "Ashely Madison". So, I googled. Just....BLECK!!

I'm not sure if I agree that it would attract Ns.  The Ns I have known believe that are extremely attractive to the opposite sex and the idea that they have to pay for sex (or female company) challenges their belief in themselves as studs. 

-MoreMyself

That would capture the N I was involved with. He was so "gifted", that he felt compelled to share his gift of love. That's what he said. Talk about grandiose fantasies. I remember the moment he told me that. What exactly is he telling me??...head spinning

I would imagine that a lot of the female clients are prostitutes and this website just does their advertising for them, because the website owner says that the attractive people don't have to pay - they are the ones being bid on.

I appreciate your thoughts:) It's been awhile( a long while) since I dipped my toe in the world of online dating. Never got beyond exchanging e-mails.

Rosemary- I like your description...."dodgy" LOL! Perfect:) While, I did think the first guy could be socially awkward, as MoreMyself said, I thought Michael was something else, entirely.

Hugs,
talia

[daisyk9292]

I completely agree with More on this one. The N I was involved with would NEVER pay for it. He's the type that would go without until he finds the next victim, I think he enjoys the hunt as much as if not more as the capture and kill.

Ashley Madison and it's owner are pathetic. They tried to advertise one year on the Super Bowl. It may have been last year actually. It was big controversy because I think they were ultimately denied. I'm not certain. But the owner was on a bunch of different talk shows stating, "We save marriages" What a cockroach.

[tango3]

The black guy - I would say he has N tendencies.  He thinks a lot of himself (he waved at the audience on introduction), he's in a band, he's busy, can't be bothered to cut the wheat from the chaff as he's just too busy, he's definitely got N tendencies but not full blown.  The other guy, absolutely a full-blown N.  I would hazard a guess that the women he meets, out in the real world, are on to him in an NY minute and want nothing more to do with him, so he has to pay! 

Right now I'm in an all men are shits frame of mind.  So the women who are on that site and rake the guys over the coals for money - more power to them!!!!

[Chime]

WTF! 
It's so ironic, I am reading The Hearts of Men by Barbara Ehrenreich
and getting my knickers twisted up in the process
just went on a rant in Jenny's Rebellion (sorry Jenny)
and now I stumble across this!
The universe is telling me something...
breathe breathe breathe
 

Chime

[alatariel]

Oddly enough, it was a conversation about the scum that populate online dating sites that led to my one-and-only actual date since I became single.  Too bad it was with a guy who turned out to be just as bad as any guy from an online site... he talked about himself the entire night, when he wasn't complaining about a former girlfriend who put her kids ahead of him. 

[Chime]

he talked about himself the entire night, when he wasn't complaining about a former girlfriend who put her kids ahead of him. 

Oh Good Lord!  Did you give him what for?

Chime

[alatariel]

Not worth it, he wouldn't have heard a word I said if I had.  I just didn't see him again.  He's old and smokes a lot of pot, too, so his memory isn't the best.  When I could finally bring myself to go again to the store he owns, he didn't even remember my name.

[RB22]

If sex is NOT involved... wouldn't it be an escort service?

[smp]

hahaha, pigface has a "modeling thing" going - supposedly he has been a photographer for the last 20 years.
His models "are available" for any event! He was always so protective of the limo company - no matter what, he kept it going. He has been running an "escort" service through it - never upfront - and I figured it out after he left. Yes, he also has escorts who truly are hookers - can I prove it? No, do I know it - yes. Maybe  this could be a new enterprise for him!! To me - yes this is prostitution, actually I even object to escort services - but that is just me. I do know he has paid plenty for lapdancers and hookers. He is addicted to porn - so his webcam girls are actually for his viewing pleasure and the girls make money for him. Isn't he cool?

[talia]

...he talked about himself the entire night, when he wasn't complaining about a former girlfriend who put her kids ahead of him

LOL alatariel ! This reminded me of an old pilot joke I heard at work

How can you tell when your half way through a date with a pilot?

    It's usually when they say "That's enough about flying, let's talk about me now"

 

[daisyk9292]

Alatariel - Eww. There's is NOTHING more unattractive to me than a man whining about a mother making her kids a priority over him and he's not getting enough attention.

Wow smp - so pigface has paid for it, but he also makes money off it?  Kind of like a dealer who snorts his own supply? So basically he's a pimp?? Do you think he considers himself a pimp but denies it, or doesn't consider his making money off his "models" pimping like he's in denial of what it actually is??

I guess it doesn't  matter either way he's a slime. Like all N's are.

Does memory serve me correctly and you are the one who had received admiration and interest in your own photography?

[CZBZ]

Very interesting topic, Talia!! I don't know the statistics on who is paying for dates but my guess is the the majority of users are men who are paying-to-date. Do you know? I didn't read the website very thoroughly.

The site owner said he was shy, the kind of guy who was socially awkward. Well, my son is a computer programmer with all the stereotypes attached. A geek. A shy guy. A super nice guy, the kind women want to live with but may not want to date. He asked me once, "How come the nice girls date the bad guys? Like you, Mom. Why did you ever even date Dad?" According to Sandra Brown's "women who love psychopaths", it's because we are drawn towards the 'excitement'.

I can see why men like my son might use dating sites to at least meet women and he told me that in his work department, the majority of married programmers met their wives on dating sites.

My concern, as a pathology-informed mother, is that people with Aspergers might be taken advantage of on sites that are based on a Machiavellian philosophy that isn't 'idealized or romanticized'. Asperger folks are not scheming and manipulative. They are usually stuck with labels like naive, gullible, and being without guile. In other words, they would not see the gold-digger coming.

Since the site owner brought up the geek-personality as a target market, I am concerned for men who might be more analytical and not see any problem paying for a date. To most people, paying-for-a-date is repulsive because it's reductive, stripping the human being from their emotions. But that doesn't mean an analytical-type guy isn't capable of bonding or committing to a relationship. What he does not know however,  is that sites like that one will DRAW mercenary women that he will not want to reject! A pretty woman with a Machiavellian attitude would not have a problem being on that site.

What I see as a more likely scenario is psychopathic women taking advantage of men with emotional deficits.

(We have several articles in the Narcissism Library, connecting Machiavellian attitudes with narcissism and psychopathy.)


CZ
 

[talia]

What I see as a more likely scenario is psychopathic women taking advantage of men with emotional deficits

Hi CZ,

I agree with and understand your concerns. I'm seeing these dating sites as an equal opportunity playground for both psychopathic men and women.

While I didn't find statistics on what gender the majority of the users are, I did find out more about the founder and owner, Brandon Wade.

And this is what I've got to say after researching a little more.

What a bunch of hooey!!!
:

My name is Brandon Wade. I’m a serial internet entrepreneur, and the author of a few books on dating, and social networking. I am also the founder of a number of online dating websites including a sugar daddy dating website (seeking arrangement.com), a millionaire matchmaking website (seekingmillionaire.com) and an innovative online dating and first date marketplace (whatsyourprice.com).

From seekingarrangement.com


Brandon Wade, our Founder and a leading dating expert, believes that successful relationships are formed out of two people being brutally honest with each other – about who they are, what they want and what they can offer. No matter what your reasons are for using Seeking Arrangement, know that out of brutal honesty comes a deep and genuine level of understanding, and sometimes true love.

So no matter what you are seeking whether it is love, companionship, friendship or some financial help, and whether it will be for a short-term, long-term or life-long arrangement, we hope you will find the perfect match here. Remember, it takes time to find your perfect soul-mate, but because you only live once, you ought to have fun while looking for that special someone.

It's Natural

Let’s face it… It’s human nature for successful people to want younger and more attractive partners. It’s also natural for younger men & women to seek out more experienced, sophisticated, wealthy and generous partners, specifically those who have the means of providing them with comforts and luxuries.

Anthropologist will tell you that these tendencies are ingrained in our genes. It is only human instinct to be attracted to beauty, as it is to be attracted to wealth and power.

Tens of thousands of years ago, when humans were cavemen and cavewomen, we were doing exactly the same thing. Except, back then, men who were the best hunters were the sugar daddies of their times.

While some society may have laid down a set of unsaid rules about what is morally acceptable (be it an acceptable age gap between lovers, extra-marital affairs, or pre-marital sex), who is to say what is "right" or "wrong"? In the past, Kings, Shahs and Emperors have had multiple lovers or concubines. In many cultures, liaisons between the wealthy, generous and the beautiful were even considered an art form. The French had courtesans. The Japanese had geishas. And in today’s society, we now have sugar babies.

At Seeking Arrangement, we know that life is short and that you only live once… so if you possess either beauty or generosity, why not explore what it may be like to find an ideal arrangement today.

Common terms defined

Sugar Daddy: The modern sugar daddy is a successful and generous man who is willing to pamper and offer financial help or gifts to a young person in return for friendship and companionship.

Sugar Mommy: The modern sugar mommy or sugar momma is a successful and generous woman who is willing to pamper and offer financial help or gifts to a young person in return for friendship and companionship.

Sugar Baby: A sugar baby is an attractive, ambitious and goal oriented individual who has a lot to offer. He or she is generally younger and is looking to meet wealthy, successful and generous people who are willing to pamper and offer financial assistance or gifts in return for their friendship or companionship.

Hooey!! to all of these sites is all I've got to say

sugar-free,
talia

[alatariel]

 

[pearlsb4swine]

I'm with Alaterial--feeling the urge to vomit.   

And I suspect that many of us here have exactly the same response--maybe that is written in our genes too? 

Pearls

[CZBZ]

Oh My Holy Gosh. I'll be playing no violin songs for Mr. Brandon Wade, that is for crackpotting sure. 


 

CZ

[smp]

I'm half tempted to see if pigface is "friends" with this guy on facebook!! Only kidding -

[CZBZ]

I've read a few articles that are very concerned that Machiavellian traits are being encouraged in our younger society. A more analytic-devoid of emotion-Self-serving attitude that's more acceptable than it would have been thirty years ago. This Mr. Wade guy is the perfect example. 

It's really weird how people don't have an emotional "this is wrong" compass steering their lives. They resort to logical analysis, weighing pros and cons. When you try to talk about why something is 'wrong', you can't come up with logical arguments against what they're doing....you just know its wrong.

Like the flight attendant on the talk show who charges men for dates and sees nothing wrong with it. I noticed that most of the audience disagreed with her, even thought what she was doing was 'wrong'....you could see it in their emotional reactions. Most people would fail a test for Machiavellianism---that cool, aloof, detached, calculating mentality that measures, quantifies and preserves their position of power. What's terrible is that people like ourselves are being lured into situations like this and because they aren't calculating narcissists, they'll be hurt.

Still thinking about the talk show, Talia...really disturbing on many levels. I hope we aren't "normalizing" abnormal behavior with shows like that.


CZ
 

[Chime]

I hope we aren't "normalizing" abnormal behavior with shows like that.

CZ
 

but of course we are
not the "we" of this community, but society
we are normalizing things that our gut says are 'wrong'
the 2 youngest ones who stood up were the scariest aspect for me
they're the future
for those without a moral compass, these shows (etc)
make this stuff acceptable
even tho they're theoretically meant to be topics for unbiased discussion  ha!

it's like Machiavelli; Ayn Rand
or any other "philosopher" of that ilk
are seeping their way into the mainstream in ever more effective/affective ways
it's disgusting!

an ever more peeved
Chime

[smp]

I have a memory of sitting in negotiations with pigface and his attorney - who had stated very matter-of-factly, that porn is NOT illegal - and so what? Yeah, that was the same guy who told me pigface was going to rent out the house next door and turn it into a brothel and there was nothing I could do about it! Yeah, some people just have no moral compass - me? I am related to a saint who was drawn and quartered in the 1600s for his beliefs! I am stunned that so many people know of his taking those pics of my daughter when she gave birth and putting them on porn websites - and most are "still on his side." I wonder how they would feel if it had been their own daughter? Poor little guy. And I am glad Legs outted Lucifer.

I am so very sick of the porn thing - it is not okay when humans are treated as objects. Pigface told me - when discussing a female friend of his many years ago - that she was not taking care of her kids because she was so upset and, after all, she was really oversexed and that is what she did to calm down - I can remember saying she needed to quit thinking about herself and start thinking about her kids - she wasn't oversexed - she had a problem with impulse control, and irresponsibility, and that was no reason for her kids to suffer.  This was an isolated discussion many years ago - guess it could have been a red flag I did not see.

Oh, by the way, there is still no brothel next door.