Topic: positive thoughts needed... (Read 667 times)

Chime · « **on:** January 22, 2012, 02:26:06 PM »

copied from my 'journal space'
I am feeling pretty desperate
because disappearing dad just called and seemed to be inferring he might be plotting...

asking for prayers, vibes and/or any other positivities you can muster up!
please please please
the divorce papers have been sent to the judge
and between now and the time the judge actually signs them
disappearing dad can throw a wrench in the works
in fact the court has sent forms on "how to"
the agreement we've settled on is as good as it can get for me
if he balks
the girls and I will suffer even more greatly than we already have
we've just presently run around the house like superstitious maniacs
lighting candles and incense
finding favorite psalms
spinning our newly acquired evil catchers and evil deflectors
donning our celtic crosses
and praying praying praying

the power and passion of the people in this forum is so very huge
please help us
and add some strength to our plea
I am seriously afraid

please
Chime

CZBZ · « **Reply #1 on:** January 22, 2012, 02:46:58 PM »

(((((Chime))))))

CZ

alatariel · « **Reply #2 on:** January 22, 2012, 02:51:40 PM »

Sending you positive thoughts and energy!!

pearlsb4swine · « **Reply #3 on:** January 22, 2012, 02:56:13 PM »

Prayers and positive thoughts coming your way!!! Keep us posted!!

pearls

Chime · « **Reply #4 on:** January 22, 2012, 02:59:08 PM »

thank you so much
this hyper vigilance is just killing me
I really appreciate your posts...
thank you so very much

Chime

Rosemary · « **Reply #5 on:** January 22, 2012, 03:22:31 PM »

chime i wrote a post on your personal journal

Chime · « **Reply #6 on:** January 22, 2012, 03:24:42 PM »

thank you Rosemary! thank you

Chime

JennyWren · « **Reply #7 on:** January 22, 2012, 03:44:05 PM »

((((Chime))))

So...Disappearing Dad is plotting. Well...no surprises there. But, I would just say...and this is just my experience....that if the N hints that he is up to something....he is wanting you to worry...and that may well mean he can`t think of anything worthy of actually doing.

My experience is that when an N is up to something ghastly...they stay very quiet indeed....and then WHAM...they come at you out of the sun spitting bullets. BigBird at least never gave me any hints he was up to something when he was. Yet when he wasn`t...he busily made threats and hinted of crushing actions to come.

A silent N is the one to watch. An N sniping and threatening and hinting at trouble to come may well not be able to think of any....so he uses his well practiced skills of emotional manipulation to make you suffer. That in itself is a worthy plan to an N I suppose.

Often the worst thing is wondering what they`re up to...and imagining the havoc they can create. They know we do that...and so they will stir us up to maximise their power over us.

You sound tormented by Disappearing Dad right now. I wish he WOULD disappear completely in a puff of smoke. Poof!

Take care of you....and let us know how you`re doing.

Chime · « **Reply #8 on:** January 22, 2012, 04:04:02 PM »

Thank you Jenny

ICD-10 lumps together with "eccentric, impulsive-type, immature, passive-aggressive, and psychoneurotic personality disorders."
with narcissism

I don't even know what type of dementor I am dealing with...
and my eyes are so blearing from crying that I can barely see the screen as I type.
passive aggressive with narc (traits? aspects? - who cares...) was the determination that was given when he actually participated... are they the same bloody thing?
all I know is my gut is on red alert
disappearing dad doesn't alway fit the definition I read here
tho I surely wish he would slide right into your description of things,
my gut says he just shot a cannon ball across my bow

I am really at my wits end

chime

Imogene · « **Reply #9 on:** January 22, 2012, 04:41:29 PM »

Just when things seemed to be wrapped up with me, X would break the silence with some nasty implied threat. They are terrorists. Only you know how seriously to take his words, but frankly I am learning not to pay attention to words of any kind, especially coming from narcissists. Watch the actions.

And I am SO SORRY you are going through this right now. I have been there. I hope it all blows over without incident, and if he is "passive-aggression," there's a good chance it will.

JennyWren · « **Reply #10 on:** January 22, 2012, 04:47:20 PM »

Oh Chime....I can`t bear to think of you so upset.

Ns come in different flavours....and the literature seems to me to refer mainly to the overt type...which BigBird isn`t.

He is the kind I have most experience of...the insecure facade of a Mr Nice Guy...under which hides a festering mass of fear-lead control and nastiness.

Part of the problem I found when I was very much in your shoes...is because you are suddenly dealing with this newly revealed person.....you don`t know what the rules are any more...and your imagination runs wild.

I don`t know the character of your N...but with the Mr Nice Guy kind....they want to maintain the act for the outside world...and they therefore can`t do anything too visable and extreme. BigBird`s assaults on me were psychological warfare. And he knew how to hurt.

Please bear in mind your N has studied you for decades. He knows exactly how to hurt you profoundly...and scare you with minimum effort.

With a phonecall he has hit the very nerve he aimed at. And I was EXACTLY the same.

I can not say if he is like BigBird in this...but I do know you WILL get through this. And we are all willing you on.

Be strong. He is just an empty vile N lashing out as his control and power fade. Whatever he does...there will be a way round, over or through.

Chime · « **Reply #11 on:** January 22, 2012, 06:22:52 PM »

thank you everyone

i take so much hope and strength from you all
and your words

and yet
i realize i am left here
to figure out my own battle strategies
wish I wasn't at war, but i find that i am.
me and Sun Tzu
we're tight tonight
here's the card i drew:
"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."

and all of you are helping me
so much
and i am grateful

chime

Legs · « **Reply #12 on:** January 22, 2012, 08:33:49 PM »

ok, I am not feeling all that positive.....in fact, I hope I have the sense to delete this like I've deleted most things I;ve written here over the last few days......

Just hold on to this one thought...no mater what they do, you can bet your bottom dollar that their arrogance and dysfunction will lead then to do something incredibly stupid almost every time they aim their pathetically small "cannon."

They may have financial power and they may find some attorney who will take their money, but eventually no matter WHAT kind of instructions the n's receive, they will turn around and step in sh!t of their own making.

Pay attention the crazy assertions that they make...often they are simply TELLING you what THEY are doing in their attempts to accuse you.....it's almost like they HAVE to tell some weird version of the n truth so they tell a huge, whopping crazy lie about you but in that lie is the seed of truth about some nefarious thing they have either done, are doing or will do.

Anyway, I did want to tell Chime not to be surprised by any bizarre thing the n does or says, but stay attentive for the "hidden" things that his lies about you, but which will reveal the truth about some bad behavior on his part. You will just be stunned at their bizarre and grandiose preposterous-ness......which is apparently not a word, but it will have to do as my brain feels like it melted and ran out of my ear.

I deleted all the whiny stuff, you lucky Chix~~~

legs

daisyk9292 · « **Reply #13 on:** January 22, 2012, 10:27:46 PM »

Chime - Sorry to hear about what you're being put through.

I'm sending positive thoughts to you.

JennyWren · « **Reply #14 on:** January 23, 2012, 06:54:56 AM »

Chime...I do hope things are OK with you today.

And to Legs.....

Quote from: Legs on January 22, 2012, 08:33:49 PM

ok, I am not feeling all that positive.....in fact, I hope I have the sense to delete this like I've deleted most things I;ve written here over the last few days......

You are more than welcome to come fire your wrath and fury on my journally thing. Being from the UK...I am unaccustomed to the whole "Think positive" mantra. "Horribly cynical" should be written in bold type on our dopey psychedelic flag. The Aussies don`t call us "Whinging Poms" for nothing.

Freezer Burned · « **Reply #15 on:** January 23, 2012, 09:37:40 AM »

Chime:
Hope your nerves have settled. Ns do whatever they can to keep us off balance and focused on them.

Jenny:
Whatever happened to the British Stiff Upper Lip, and the Keep Calm and Carry On?

JennyWren · « **Reply #16 on:** January 23, 2012, 09:56:12 AM »

Not wishing to speak for an entire nation!.....my opinion is that us Brits are adept at keeping calm and carrying on....because we spend all day every day identifying that everything is terrible...and then complain about it while keeping calm. And carrying on. With a stiff upper lip!

See....you don`t have to keep calm and carry on if everything is just hunky-dory. If you see the good side to everything....there is no call for a stiff upper lip. So... modern day Brits are skilled in being scathingly negative...and then overcoming it by carrying on anyway.

It`s something to do I suppose.

Chime · « **Reply #17 on:** January 23, 2012, 07:08:49 PM »

thank you guys for checking in on me
not really feeling better
just riding out the storm

but despite not feeling "better"
I feel ok
does that make sense?
just back from therapist who says to trust my intuition
I don't need evidence beyond the phone call, in fact,
I don't need evidence at all, she says
I've been so "gaslighted" that without peer reviewed research and hard core evidence I would accept anything he served up (and even THEN he could talk his way out of things...)
still in a state of constant vigilance,
meeting with lawyer Wed.
please continue to hold us in your thoughts
I know how much power there is here in this community
thank you all
Chime

Chime · « **Reply #18 on:** January 23, 2012, 07:12:38 PM »

Quote from: JennyWren on January 23, 2012, 06:54:56 AM

And to Legs.....
You are more than welcome to come fire your wrath and fury on...

HEY! Can we collectively bottle this fired up wrath and fury and aim it at disappearing dad? or better yet, create some sort of flaming-fury-firewall of protection with it

chime

Legs · « **Reply #19 on:** January 23, 2012, 09:01:12 PM »

Wouldn't that be nice? If we could bottle it and keep it in ready supply under the bed until we needed it? Or we could ship it off to people who need the extra that we have? We coujld trade different vintages...I'll swap you two bottles of self-pity and devastation for just a tiny bit of that hellfire and damnation brew that has been sitting and stweing and gaining strength for the last three years.

The for all the Positive Gals, they can give each other free samples of determination and self-knowledge and feeling damn great today thank you very much.

Legs, examining my collection of emotions and I think I am down to my last bottle of giving a sh!t and am fresh out of "caring" as well

Chime · « **Reply #20 on:** January 24, 2012, 07:58:17 AM »

lol
well, I might have a tad extra 'caring' I could give you
got any 'sorts' laying around though?
I am totally out of those

Chime

alatariel · « **Reply #21 on:** January 24, 2012, 08:16:19 AM »

I have a foaming bottle of "scathing sarcasm" and a half-empty one of "humorous irony" to spare, can I get some "positive outlook" and "self-confidence" in exchange?

Legs · « **Reply #22 on:** January 24, 2012, 11:38:11 AM »

I can either send you some self-confidence or else some extra ass-kissing..they taste pretty much the same but the ass-kissing only lasts for as long as it takes you to read the words...

the scathing sarcasm...I have a basement full of that and some of it has matured to nasty hateful cynicism. I have a huge barrel of resentment and revenge bubbling away just about to blast open like a meth lab on a bad day

I also have a giant case of the lazybutt going on and another 12 pack of I don't want to........any of that sound good???

Legs

Chime · « **Reply #23 on:** January 24, 2012, 01:46:30 PM »

Quote from: alatariel on January 24, 2012, 08:16:19 AM

I have a foaming bottle of "scathing sarcasm" and a half-empty one of "humorous irony" to spare, can I get some "positive outlook" and "self-confidence" in exchange?

ya know I think the foaming bottles
are the very best kind
you can aim them with more accuracy
and it's contents stick on surfaces better
thus the scathing lasts longer

positive outlook?
I'd lend you my rose colored glasses
but I am pretty sure they've got an evil curse
on them... one that lasted for 30 years on me...
so I'll spare you
and leave them in my lead lined safebox

Chime

pearlsb4swine · « **Reply #24 on:** January 24, 2012, 01:53:47 PM »

Ha. The lazybutt grows invasively all over my yard, and chokes out all the initiative and positive change that I plant. I find sarcasm to be delicious and put it into everything I make, but a lot of people don't care for it. But my cooking is so bland without it, and it creeps in somehow.

Personally I'm tired of putting caring into everything. Everyone seems to expect it from me, but when they are the ones cooking they say it's too expensive or they couldn't find it or whatever.

pearls

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Author Topic: positive thoughts needed... (Read 667 times)

daisyk9292

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